The Terranova's

2011-12-29T12:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it has taken me so long to write in here again.

I have so many emotions right now - I keep thinking about the days ahead and the days behind and the days that I am living. Something that I can't seem to shake is: we could go anywhere - we could do anything.

It all started several weeks ago when I was having a no good, terrible kind of week. After a horrendous excursion through town and epic cry I asked Joe if we could go to Thailand. "When?" he asked - my response? "Tomorrow". I admit now that it was extremely dramatic but that's how I felt - I had to go...not run away... just go. Five days later we were in Thailand. We road elephants, took boats rides, raced around the streets of Chiang Mai on the back of a motor-bike, ate amazing food, and we were completely joy-filled.

I did it... for the first time in a long time I let go...I stopped thinking. See, when you start working with the poor you analyze every single thing. You think about how every action, every word is going to effect some-one: spiritually, economically, culturally, and emotionally. All the time non-stop you worry about the decisions you make...and that day, I didn't think. When we cleared our minds we felt this deep peace about our future. A peace that was missing for so long - something we needed to make these big decisions in our life.

Today we are thinking about us. For years it's been about these people we work with and this place we have found ourselves. Joe and I are leaving Uganda at the beginning of next year - like always the details are blurry but I keep thinking: we could go anywhere - we could do anything and it's exhilarating.

Please pray with us as we seek.
love,
melissa

2011-09-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

The last month has been a whirlwind.
We left Uganda in a hurricane...we packed, organized, delegated, said goodbyes, and tied up loose ends all in a matter of a few days and then we took off in the middle of the night. I always wondered what would happen if there was a family emergency and we were half a world away...now I wonder no more and wish it wasn't so.

Those 3 1/2 weeks in America were the hardest we have ever been through. Seeing the person you love the most hurting over the loss of a loved one and not being able to do anything about is incredibly painful and humbling. I felt completely vulnerable and not strong enough...and still feel remnants of it even now as we are home...even now as tears well up in my eyes.

We returned to Uganda on a wednesday morning, packed up our house in bukaya on a thursday, and moved to jinja town on a friday. Looking back I dont know how we did it but I'm glad we did. With this move has come a lot less stress and a lot more community. I think down the road I will really ache to be back in that house... our first real home but today, I do not.

We are finally getting back into the swing of things and once again contemplating more change as we consider opening a retail space/office area here. On top of all things tukula I have recently begun helping with admin. work at Amani Baby Cottage and teaching an art class once a week at St. Nicholas Primary. I enjoy all of this but can't help but miss my days of solitude - learning and growing in the comforts and quietness of my home. Learning and growing outside of my own environment means more holding back tears and having to think quicker. We're still continuing with the bible study with friends on Saturdays - learning about life, love and other mysteries. I realize more than ever that I need that time so badly - to fellowship and really dig deep into scripture. It's rewarding and also humbling to know that we were not made to know everything.

The ladies of tukula are doing well. Esther said "when you are here with us it feels like home".
To me, that's worth way more than selling a billion bags.

I ask that you please keep us all in prayer as this is a season of grace and change for us.
Lots of love,
melissa

2011-07-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

At only one year she was abandoned at the hospital. She couldn't speak to tell anyone who her guardian was or what they looked like or if they would be back. A few days passed and she found herself in a yard full of other children her size and ladies she didn't know. Every day she is loved, fed, and cared for but it's not enough. She goes down the slide laughing the entire way and lands in my arms. She places her arms around my neck and points back to the slide. She is my friend and I see Jesus in her. "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Hassan is around 15 years old and calls my name from across the street. He runs to me and immediately asks where I'm going and I reply "market" and without hesitation from either of us we walk together hand in hand. On our way he makes sure I don't get hit by cars or ripped off by local vendors. Hassan knows the streets well because he lives there and most days he likes it that way. He has big dreams of being a taxi driver and going to America. With the little money he gets from begging or selling soap, Hassan will buy me popcorn not expecting anything in return and when I give him money for it he says "don't mind". Hassan is my friend and I see Jesus in him. "This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. "

I follow the sound of humming sewing machines through the loud, muddy market. "Auntie M, you're most welcome!" comes from a small blue stall. We greet each other with hugs and hand shakes as I make my way to an empty spot on the floor. We spill are insides and chat like we've known each other for a lifetime when really it's been only a year or a few months, even a few weeks. Each of us from different backgrounds, tribes, and religions but we love each other. These ladies are my friends and I see Jesus in them. "The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry."

Jaja Pius loves serving her family. She wraps her grandchild in a blanket and ties the baby to her back as she digs in the garden. She walks barefoot through the village and greets everyone along her way. I bring her some beans or fish and she kneels down to thank me and I get down on my knees and rub her back. Jaja Pius is my friend and I see Jesus in her."The LORD will rescue his servants; no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned"

I spend my days staring Jesus right in the face.
Every day is different but every day He's there calling my name, seeking my attention.
Some days I refuse to look back - I don't acknowledge His good and perfect gifts...His people.
Some days It's all I can do to keep from falling flat on my face before Him...hugging His people.

Everyday is different but every day He's there calling my name, seeking my attention.
"...I saw God face to face and He spared my life."
He's there looking back at us - even on the hardest days.
Turn your eyes to Him...it makes all the difference.
*

bringing love with a sword

2011-06-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

Recently Joe and I started going to a bible study here that has really been making me think about what I truly believe. How it goes is the leader will tell stories of things that have happened in the bible but these stories are told almost like "old wives tales". It's fantastic - because this makes it easier to remember and re-tell but also helps us to ask questions instead of taking the verses for just what they are - allowing us to dig deeper. I would like to post here about what I've been learning as a way to share but also remember.

We started with creation and Adam & Eve.
While we were discussing these stories I couldn't stop thinking about the song "When We Fell" by David Bazan - this song made me extremely uncomfortable when I first heard it.
"...If you knew what would happen and made us just the same then you, my Lord, can take the blame..."
I was quick to think that God would never do something like that to us. The bible study leader asked if God is just playing games with us. once again I was uncomfortable and immediately thought about God's mercy and gave Him the benefit of the doubt. But after a lot of thought I can see how people think that God simply is just messing around with us - like we're puppets. I was reading through the verses several times and couldn't help but notice that God SEEKS US. He extends His grace quicker than He gives curses. When Adam & Eve ate the forbidden fruit He WENT LOOKING for them and asked what happened. He gave them a chance to ask for forgives but instead passed the blame around. When Cain killed his brother Abel God WENT TO HIM and asked where Abel was - Cain lied.

"Because the God who is Love desires to love the whole world and genuine love involves freedom, the creatures of the Creator have received the gift of freedom to love God as a result of God’s own free decision to create and love."

Last week we read the story of Noah and what struck me the most during this story is Genesis 6:6 "The LORD regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled" He felt regret. we discussed this at length and we ended with "God Himself never changes but He changes His mind". This makes me feel like He is flexible, that He hears our cries and re-acts with genuine feelings. He may know everything that will happen before it happens but He may not know how it's going to make Him feel in the moment.

*We serve a God that is LOVE and love is messy. When love comes in there has to be room for changes and flexibility. I'm learning a lot about this personally. As God uses His sword to cut away everything that is not Love inside of me (matthew 10:34) I'm having to change a lot and although I thought I counted the costs it's been really hard and painful. Please keep us in your prayers as we keep going ahead with all this stretching.

to those who read this: we love you!

rise and fall

2011-06-01T23:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry again for the lack of updates.
To be honest it's been hard to write lately because life's been hard.
Lots of letting go of things that I have been carrying for years.
Lots of dreams lost and relationships broken.
Lot's of good to come though...at least I have hope.

Once again, I find this fitting:
"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall."-Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran

well this is embarrassing...

2011-04-20T06:21:00.000-07:00

I completely fail at keeping this blog up to date.
I promise I will be better... someday.

In the meantime go here. It's surprisingly up to date.
I also started this whole "friday favorites" thing - which I already missed one.
I really apologize for all this not writing business.

If you are really itchin' for some good blogs check out FAITH BLOGS.

Hope you are all well and that you have a fantastic Easter weekend!
love, Melissa

A glimpse of Tukula

2011-01-08T09:10:00.000-08:00

We made a video! It gives a small glimpse at what Tukula's tailoring business does and we can't stop watching it over here - we get to hang out with these women whenever we want but this video totally puts everything into perspective for us. We love them and we hope you can get to know them a bit better through this video!

2011-01-03T14:02:00.000-08:00

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:6-7)

There's a little boy I mention A LOT his name is Becaham. He was a part of serving his children's malnutrition rehab program back in the spring of 2010. That's how Joe and I got to know him and fell in love with him. Every time something was happening with his family/situation the director of SHC would call us and let us know. We prayed for him and loved on him and desired for him to grow in Jesus. We took him in for the month of June while the Director was in America and during that time a lot of people told us that we should "just adopt him" there was "no hope for his family" and so I became vulnerable and really wanted to adopt this little boy and make him a part of our family. I daydreamed about taking him to America and about meeting my family and how great it would be to have him in our lives forever. and then in July he went home - I was selfishly hurting and felt like I had lost a child and was unbelievably bitter towards all the things "standing in the way" between Becaham and I being together. I tried to distract myself so I dove head first into Tukula - designing, relationship building, sourcing materials, building a website/online store, getting promotional materials, etc etc and I loved it. I was so happy to be doing what we set out to do here and to be spending some time learning about three very incredible women. But this little boy captured a large part of my heart so I constantly thought about him - about what he was doing - if someone was loving him - if he was happy and healthy...

In early November we decided to visit him in his village called Mayuge. We took a translator and we learned that Becaham was "good but not so good" we started interceding on Becahams behalf and my heart ached - "WHY GOD can't he just be with us?" - We went back the very beginning of December to check up on him again - once again we took a translator and heard so many different things - women of the village kept saying "just take him there is no one here to care for that boy" - we heard stories of cowives coming and going of arguments about who would care for the boy. Once again my heart was aching - "WHY GOD can't he just be with us?". I pleaded with God and asked him to take the desire to have him away from me if it was not His will to have Becaham be a part of our family - I wanted so badly to guard my heart.

We asked the family if Becaham could spend Christmas with us - they were excited and happy that we wanted to take him. Two weeks passed and we went to pick up Becaham up and the father told us that all his wives had left and there was no one to care for Becaham (his 7- year old twin brothers were currently the ones to do so). He asked if we could take him for five years and then bring him back for school. Joe told him our situation - about how we didnt know if we would be in Uganda for five years and that if we took him we would want him forever. the dad immediately said "NO" - almost chuckling like Joe was crazy for even thinking that he would give his child up forever. We were shocked - all we have ever heard was "just take him" we never knew there was a time limit or that the dad actually cared (or at least what it seemed like). After the next three days he was with us we thought about everything - we thought about the possibility of fostering him and decided that if he was going to return to the village living with us, learning english, getting used to us being his "parents" was not a good idea so we decided to tell the father that we would be willing to help him with anything but we couldn't take him for only 5 years. my heart ached and again I pleaded with God - "WHY can't he just be with us?"

The day after Christmas we made the trek back to Mayuge to return Becaham and give the dad the dad our decision. When we arrived who was there to greet us but a NEW WIFE. I was SHOCKED - seriously THREE DAYS LATER. The father was in good spirits and looked relieved - he told us that his family now has hope for Becaham - that basically a new wife had solved all his "problems". As we drove away I just stared and stared at Becaham on the back of his brother. I cried - I cried for Becaham - for his little life and out of how unfair it is that his mom had to die of AIDS. I cried for his dad - that he is so unbelievably wrapped up in Satan's lies. I pray for them a couple times a day and constantly think of him and miss him and wish I could just be his mom. I still continue to ache not just for myself now or that he could just be with us but for Becaham that he will grow up knowing that there is God who LOVES him and DESIRES him and that no matter how many women go in and out of his life - they do not leave because of him.

To be honest I am about to break.
Dealing with this experience and also just seeing other friends who have been hurt because of there husband/father has had multiple wives is ripping my heart apart. I know that it's a different culture here and it's hard to understand without seeing but I ask you please to pray for the women and children around the world feeling unloved, unimportant, and neglected because of men in their lives who are having multiple wives or committing adultery.

I know that for now Becaham is happy - that he knows no different and that he loves the children in his village and they love him. Everyday it gets easier to "let go" and God is bringing me a peace that surpasses all understanding.
hallelujah...

GUEST BLOG

2010-12-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

It took about 17 hours to fly from my home in America to Uganda, and about 3 more to realize that I was actually there. Three hours: the approximate amount of time it took for me to shatter every rule and piece of advice that had been offered to me about visiting Africa. . .

Do not travel with undocumented drivers, do not eat uncooked fruits, vegetables, or any food prepared under unsanitary conditions, do not walk in open toe shoes, do not make contact with anyone who appears ill. . . (to name a few).

Yes, believe it or not, people actually said these things. People who I am guessing have never been to Africa , but after all, I had never been there either and although I seriously doubted that these guidelines would be realistic to follow, I did not completely disregard the advice. . .at least on the plane ride there.

Our first afternoon in Uganda and a walk up the rutted red dirt path in Bukaya to the main road gave me a chance to really breathe the air and absorb my surroundings for the first time. I tried to take in the view from ceiling to floor – the open sky, the mountainous island, the sliver of Lake Victoria hovering between the trees and roof tops, the haphazard gardens tumbling to the edge of the path, a goat here, a goat there, a piece of an old flip flop, a chicken, another chicken, more trash, another chicken, a baby playing in the ditch – wait, a baby playing in the ditch? Melissa smiled and pointed up the road, “It’s OK her mother is probably up there somewhere.” Sure enough, two small brown houses down the path was a woman sitting in the doorway, quietly watching us.

We reached the main road and stopped – “Now what?”. “Well, now we just kinda wait for something to come along,” Joe shrugged . . . and just like that, rule number one cracked wide open. Two young Ugandan men on bodas (small motorcycles) pulled up and scooted forward on their seats. Two passengers plus the driver to a boda, a barter down to about 2000 shillings to take us into Jinja town, and suddenly the first ride of my life on a motorcycle was happening in a cotton skirt and sandals, clinging to a stranger in a strange country, weaving around potholes and cutting between trucks.

Exhale, I thought as I loosened my white knuckled fingers from the edges of my boda driver’s jacket . . . just let go. And I did. Within the next hour, I had devoured a vegetable egg wrap (rolex) made by a boy on the street who handed it to me in a scrap of paper from his flour sack and I had gashed my blood gushing bare toe on a rock on my way down to the Source of the Nile. I was quickly drifting from the familiar territory of “be careful” to enjoy the land of “just be.”

I have heard time and time again that Africa is “a different world,” the terrain, the people, the culture. . .but although that is an easy way to describe the physical differences of a country like Uganda, I never really felt that way at heart. When I was able to let go of what I had been told, and began to trust what I was experiencing in the moment, it was as if I was just wandering my own country, my own home, and had somehow come across a bizarre part of town that I had not visited yet - a part of town that was bright and chaotic, lovely and scarred, but more human and real than any place that I had ever been before. Each day seemed to be an enigma of “predictable unpredictability” and that lack of structure often forced our “to-do list” to become more reliant on the people around us rather than on elusive plans. Sometimes it seems easier to trust and depend on plans rather than on people, but the latter requires that one trusts and depends on God a little more.

In an environment that sometimes appeared to be out of control to me, I learned to allow God to take command of my perspective, I began to identify the line between carelessness and faith, and to realize that as much as I needed to let go and trust that my boda driver would take me safely to Jinja, he was having to trust that this nervous American would pay him fairly when we reached our destination.

One of my last days in Jinja I was walking through the market and a woman who had only seen me once before reached out and handed me her baby to hold for her while she helped bag fruit for a customer. While she worked, she never glanced in my direction to make sure that I was still there with her sleeping child in my arms and I wondered if she didn’t care if something happened to him, or if she simply had faith that her baby was in good hands….either way, I like to think that she trusted me in that moment with her most precious gift.

Fortunately it took more than a couple of hours for me to adjust from the Ugandan lifestyle when I returned home. I walked more slowly for awhile, I worried less, and I thought about other people more than my agenda for the day. . .but I am sad to admit that I feel these wonderful side effects wearing off.

When I miss Uganda, sure I miss the red dirt and the beautiful people whom I was blessed to meet, but more than anything, I long for that raw state of mind that forced me to be fully present in each moment, to depend on the “undependable,” and to concern myself with keeping only one rule in this life: an unwavering faith in the God who did not form “Ugandans” and “Americans,” but who simply breathed life into the dust and created willful, fickle humans to love Him. I will never claim that I understand a place like Uganda anymore than I understand a place like America, but my trip across the Atlantic has taught me so much more about this life… “For we are (all) fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Thank you Melissa and Joe, for an experience we will never forget.

Laura Pritchett

2010-11-08T20:33:00.000-08:00

To my very best friend:
On Saturday we leave for Lebanon.
I don't have words to express how I feel and how excited I am for you
but Dr.Seuss offered some help...

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go...

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest...

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV...

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

I love you...and if my love was an ocean I would have to take many MORE than two airplanes to get across. Thank you for letting me a part of this.
onward and upward...
Lebanon here we come!!!
-m

standing in the gap

2010-11-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

When Abdallah cut his foot open that night at central market we knew what to do after we heard the older street children tell him that they would kill him if he came back to the streets. We took him home and after a week he went to live with a really beautiful family here in uganda. We stood in the gap for Abdallah it wasn't easy but we knew what we had to do.

When Mama Yusuf was dying of AIDS we knew there was nothing we could do for her but stand in the gap and pray with her during her last few days and bring her beef stew. It was hard to say goodbye when she passed away but we knew it had to happen and we rejoiced at the thought of her not being forgotten anymore.

When we first met Becaham my heart stopped. Those big brown eyes and that smile made me melt. We stood in the gap for him for a small period of time caring for him loving him and then returning him back to his family in the village. It was hard but we had to do it and we were excited when he would visit jinja and we could see he started crawling and was a bit chunkier. I closed that gap and praised God for all he did in Becaham's life.

Until yesterday when that gap was ripped wide open.
We went to visit him in the village where he now lives with two moms (neither of which are his own) and his father. Friends, I wish it were as easy as giving his family a job or food or money - I wish it was only a matter of him just needing to go to the clinic. I wish it wasn't this hard family dynamic and lack of love. Our translator said that "he is good but not so good" and that sums it up completely. I wish there was some sort of closure he was either really bad or he was doing great. This time standing in the gap is hard and confusing and I have no idea what stepping out of this will look like.

Joe kept telling me yesterday that this is what being obedient to God looks like.
So here we are praying and waiting and filled with so much love for this little boy.
Please pray with us for his family we know that only God can place love in hearts and change lives drastically through it.

On earth as it is in heaven...

autumn update

2010-10-18T19:47:00.001-07:00

hello dear blog readers!
we have a lot of exciting things happening over hear and a few not so exciting things.
I'll start with the not so exciting:
-Bennah has been SICK. malaria. She's just started eating and we are praying for a SPEEDY recovery because we really love her and she's making some stellar new designs.
-Our dear Norwegian friend Eirik left last week. We selfishly wished he could just stay forever or until we leave but we wish him all the luck in the world! Thank you for making us laugh and for introducing us to the Nyenga community, but importantly thank you for your friendship! we miss you!

now for exciting news!:
-We are meeting with a possible NEW TAILOR this Wednesday.
-We are starting the endeavor of teaching money management to our tailors - this doesn't sound that exciting right? well, it was THEIR idea. talk about self-empowerment!
- There are 11 kids right down the road from our house (ok so they're far down the main road branch left onto a very dusty dirt road slope right at the train tracks onto a "path" pass the evangelical world vision church and there they are!) who are part of an ever growing children's home.

(me & paulina)

(edward)

(ivan - one of the newest additions :)

The children's home also currently teaches kindergarten to children from the community who can't afford school and gives them each a nutritious meal a day. They also will be teaching English during school holidays. They have future hopes of building a clinic and a school. They currently do not have a clean water source...that's where tukula comes in and where YOU come in. The excess profits from the sale of the bags goes towards building them a rainwater harvesting tank (which we will start constructing in December for the home and in the future for the school!) - so keep shopping, friends!

lots of love,
The Terranova's

snaps

2010-09-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

happy October, friends : )

2010-09-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

sometimes...
I walk down the road and one of the neighbor kids will ask for money and I just smile at them...because honestly I just want to cry. why can't I give them money? I'm given reasons on a daily basis "they will come to expect it and that's not good... they cant be reliant on white people" "because then you will just give them reason to ask other mzungus for money" "because you're making their parents lazy" and I keep smiling and walking and wave bye when I get to the main road.

sometimes...
One of the tailors, or a shop owner, or someone I'm meeting with doesn't have what I asked for the days prior, is late, or has a long list of excuses about something and I can't get too frustrated because it's "African culture to be late" or "I dont know english" or "we're all out I have to go to kampala for it come back monday"... so I just smile and say "see you next week".

sometimes...
my husband asks me what happens if tukula doesn't work out and I have a panic attack and I smile and say "I've never thought about it before".

sometimes...
I miss a little boy named Becaham so much and I think why can't he just be mine - his family doesn't even care if he's with them or not. But I'm told everyday "he has a family" and I smile even though it doesn't make me feel better.and the toilets don't flush, there's a million ants on our "clean" dishes, I wish I had someone other than my husband to hang out with, some one is always at our gate asking for a job, our best friend is dealing with witch craft spells, It's rainy season and I get caught in the rain several times a week....I just want to pull out my hair...but then...
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

And I smile because I know there is a new day and God has placed me right here right now in the middle of Uganda for such a time as this. And I realize all this messiness that's inside of me isn't mine to carry alone. and if I threw in the towel then I would be saying that my best friend, the one who created me was wrong for bringing me here.
and He's not.
He says..."It's ok if you want to pull your hair out. I do too sometimes because of this mess you've created, but I love you....I love you with my whole life. So, stay here with me."so I stay and the same neighbor child dances in my front yard, and the tailor makes me laugh, the shop owner says "thank you for loving us" , If it doesn't work out I took a really beautiful risk, and Baby Becaham has a heavenly Father who wants him to be right where he is.

And I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

2010-08-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

friends,
we recently finished this beautiful wholesale catalog.

A catalog with just the items we feel ok about wholesale-ing (meaning: the ones that we can pump out a lot faster than the ones we cannot because for some reason we can make 30 burlap clutches in a week but it's like pulling teeth to complete 10 wallets in a week...but I digress : )...) So we are asking that if you know of any boutiques or markets or anyone really who you think would want to purchase 10 (minimum) or more of our products at a whole sale price please send me an email (melissa@tukula.org) or leave their contact in a comment and I will send them our catalog! I promise you these ladies would be so grateful:

(esther, 31 years old: In the center of Madhavani Market you will most likely find Esther hard at work, making her neighbors laugh, or quite possibly both. She is a single mother of 4 children: Prince, Precious, Posh, and Shami - the most joyful family you will ever meet!)

(Prossy, 33 years old: The best friend and side-kick of Esther, Prossy is the shy one of the two. They became such good friends while Esther was teaching her how to sew. She is a hardworking single mother of 2 with an always sunny disposition [like Mary Poppins!])

(Bennah, 25 years old: This young newlywed was the first tailor to join the tukula team. She came to Jinja after finishing off tailoring school in Uganda's capital city [Kampala]. She always takes pride in her work and often tells us she will "try her level best"!)

thanks!
-m

2010-08-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

Jesus asked me if I would be His disciple and I said "yes".
I remember thinking "this means I have to live and love like You"
I tried really hard and then all of a sudden... I gave up.

I'm currently living in a fantasy world where just because I moved to Uganda and spend time with dirt on my feet and extremely poor people I thought that was good enough. Dear friends let me tell you, it is not. So if you thought moving to africa, adopting an orphan, or giving your summer vacation money to a project in a developing country was "living and loving" like Jesus - you haven't even touched the surface.

He wants us to live and love like Him in EVERY situation. Living and loving like Him means we have to be genuine...in the words we speak and the thoughts we think. I have been affirmed time and time again for the things I am DOING but because no-one (but Christ) can say "your thoughts are on heaven - well done!" - no one can see my thoughts ...I get to think whatever I want and not be judged. This is where I stumble and this where I find myself thirsty. I was able to drop my plow and walk away and not be held accountable for the work I had left to do because everyone saw the work I have already done and in the eyes of the world it's good enough. But something is missing - the harvest is here ...and He wants EVERYTHING because He created us FOR HIM.

Can you imagine how different our actions and what we say would be if we CONTINUOUSLY thought about heaven? But not just that but how GENUINE our actions and words would be. Can you imagine how unimportant where you live, who you are with, even what you were doing would be?

I'm going to try this again - giving everything to follow Him.
I dare you to.

2010-08-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday our dear friend, Oneka Charles, passed away. The past couple of weeks had been so hard for him. He was in so much pain and fighting so hard. The last time we saw him was on Saturday right before he left for his homeland, Gulu. The moaning and groaning I heard that day haunted me for days I knew that things weren't good but still had hope that God could heal him if He wanted to. But today as sad as I am I also rejoice knowing that Charles is reuniting with His beloved creator and that they are having a huge celebration. : )

We will never forget our time with you and how excited you would get to see Joe. We are celebrating with you today and missing you so much! I feel so blessed to know you!

Amari Matek, dear brother!

2010-07-15T17:49:00.000-07:00

On any given day I feel about 10 different emotions. Sometimes those feelings come all at one time - even when I don't think it's possible. But for the past few days sorrow is the only emotion that can really be reached.

Uganda experienced a really hard hit on Sunday night.
I'm still trying to process what happened and every day there's a point when I think I might break.

During this time we are also aching for a dear friend whose baby girl is fighting for her life. We are all praying harder than I think we ever have. I invite you to pray with us.. for everything and everyone. It's heavy around here but God is ever present and faithful.
hallelujah

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced. When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall."-Prophet, by Kahlil Gibran

2010-07-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the lack of blogs! I'm fired!

Just thought I would let you all know that you can now purchase the summer products on www.tukula.org

were excited!
celebrated with some good ol' boy meets world and oreos (yes yes all sent from "the 'merica")
: )
certainly lots to celebrate!
*

love,
Joe and Melissa

thirsty?

2010-06-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

my next door neighbor is an extremely old woman who I call JaJa Pius - she sits in her ditch and waves to me while she collects water for her family.

my best friend once told me about a time she was house sitting for a family and she had to give their cat BOTTLED WATER everyday.

think about the insanity of that.
then also think about these facts:

3.575 million People die each year from water-related disease.
43% of water-related deaths are due to diarrhea.
84% of water-related deaths are in children ages 0 – 14.
98% of water-related deaths occur in the developing world.
884 million people, lack access to safe water supplies, approximately one in eight people.
The water and sanitation crisis claims more lives through disease than any war claims through guns.
At any given time, half of the world’s hospital beds are occupied by patients suffering from a water-related disease. Less than 1% of the world’s fresh water (or about 0.007% of all water on earth) is readily accessible for direct human use.
An American taking a five-minute shower uses more water than the typical person living in a developing country slum uses in a whole day.
About a third of people without access to an improved water source live on less than $1 a day. More than two thirds of people without an improved water source live on less than $2 a day.
Poor people living in the slums often pay 5-10 times more per liter of water than wealthy people living in the same city.
Without food a person can live for weeks, but without water you can expect to live only a few days.
The daily requirement for sanitation, bathing, and cooking needs, as well as for assuring survival, is about 13.2 gallons per person

and house pets are drinking bottled water......

there are seven children who live down the road from the road from meand they lost their father when they were very little and recently lost their little brother who was poisoned. They live in a room (with their mom) that's a little bit bigger than my bathroom.

think about that...8 people living in a room the size of my bathroom where I use more water showering for two minutes than they would all use in an entire day.

THEN think about the 2,000 verses in the bible that talk about the poor and marginalized. The one's that talk about how they are thirsty but no one will give them anything to drink (matthew 25: 41-43). or how about that one verse that talks about how we need to sell everything we own and give to the poor and only then we can go and follow Jesus. (luke 18:22)

THEN think about your lifestyle and if you're anything like me this will scare you. This fear will then cause you to justify every single one of those verses because if we even dare to think about how serious God is about ALL of the people in this world that would mean we have to change something about the way we live and interact with others. This same fear that does all that will then have you looking at every other verse in the bible to find the one thing that you can discuss with strong convictions because it doesn't cause you to look internally...verses about homosexuality and politics...verses that make us feel like we're really following God's word.

all this to say...I have a lot of lifestyle changes and internal examinations that need to happen.

2010-06-16T00:27:00.000-07:00

"Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life." - Mumford & Sons

Here's TRUTH:

¹Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ²This is what the ancients were commended for.

³By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. ⁴By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did. By faith he was commended as a righteous man, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith he still speaks, even though he is dead.

⁵By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. ⁶And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

⁷By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

⁸By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. ⁹By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. ¹⁰For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

¹¹By faith Abraham, even though he was past age—and Sarah herself was barren—was enabled to become a father because considered him faithful who had made the promise. ¹²And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.

¹³All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. ¹⁴People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. ¹⁵If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. ¹⁶Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

¹⁷By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, ¹⁸even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned." ¹⁹Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

²⁰By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.

²¹By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph's sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.

²²By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones.

²³By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict.

²⁴By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh's daughter. ²⁵He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a short time. ²⁶He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. ²⁷By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king's anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. ²⁸By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.

²⁹By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.

³⁰By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the people had marched around them for seven days.

³¹By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.

³²And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets, ³³who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, ³⁴quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. ³⁵Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. ³⁶Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison. ³⁷They were ; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— ³⁸the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

³⁹These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. ⁴⁰God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect. (Hebrews 11)

I will follow You with my whole life.

oh, June, you move way too fast

2010-06-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

So much to write but not much time.
This little one has been occupying much of our time:

along with cleaning up several food messes, killing ants and cockroaches, trying to be a better wife, trying to figure out this whole tukula business thing, trying to figure out what this super complicated crying baby (who I love unconditionally) wants, future thoughts, researching the world's water crisis, making meals, washing pooped clothes/sheets (by hand no less!), Joe being sick, me feeling sick, kampala, fabric fabric fabric, crying baby, dealing with our super particular but sweet landlord, date nights, the bat-man, playing with the neighbor kids, crying baby, attempting to return emails, meeting new friends - fostering relationships with old friends, etc etc etc

good and bad - I love it all.
Becaham's up and here goes another day...

2010-05-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

hello blogger friends - I know it's time to update when I get emails asking me what we're up to. So here we go:

Joe and I have a had a bumpy month. Things are going super slow and made even slower by having to re-adjust the whole tailoring team. So we stepped back and tried to see the bigger picture of tukula and although we started this journey with the desire to help small businesses flourish it's turning into something I never thought I would be the slightest bit interested in...sustainability through sanitation and health. As much as we love that we get to help a handful of ladies grow their tailoring businesses we also love the idea of getting to help whole communities grow also.

A couple of weeks ago I watched some very young girls carry large amounts of LAKE water in jerry cans back to their house where their mother (their only parental figure) was in town looking for money to pay for medicine because she was sick. As I helped the oldest carry water back to the house I thought about how if they had access to clean water maybe the mother wouldn't be sick and the children would for sure not be walking to the lake at night to fetch water. And instead of using the money on medicine they could use it on things like a garden so they can grow their own food and even sell it if they have more than enough.

My thoughts became faster and faster and I knew in all reality I was being completely idealistic but I began researching Rain Water Harvesting and Humanure anyway. I learned the benefits of having these systems and how people were thriving by using them.

In September with the excess profits we make this summer (from selling bags made by some lovely ladies in bukaya and jinja town who I will update you on in our next post) we are hoping to do a small scale pilot project to see if in the future we can actually make this happen for larger communities.

Please keep these plans and our current tailoring team in your prayers and please e-mail me if you have any helpful thoughts on any of this! (melissa@tukula.org)

grace and peace,
melissa

2010-05-16T16:15:00.002-07:00

I get asked very often what I do and why I am in Uganda.
My answer to question number one is: I own a business.
My answer to question number two is: I'm following Jesus.

I am not in Uganda because I own a social business that works with young tailors - I am in Uganda because Jesus called me to be a disciple and I said yes...then he called me to leave everything again and I said "I'll go" - reluctantly but I said it. THAT is why I am in Uganda.

BUT because people are usually interested and I get asked to "elaborate" a lot I will fill you in on "what I do"...

I wake up around 6:30 am (or in today's case I wake up at 1 am and can't go fall back to sleep - fingers crossed that as soon as this blog is finished I will!) I wash my face, make tea, check all the many accounts I have on the world wide web (internet works best in the morning). around 7 am I usually get bored of writing emails and stalking my friends and family back home so I wake up my husband. I then make us breakfast (which usually consists of eggs or oatmeal or like yesterday a banana because electric was out and I didn't feel like lighting the charcoal stove) and we usually chat a bit. After that I usually shower (the shower part only actually happens about 3 days a week) and get dressed. Joe and I then coordinate schedules and decide if we want to go to town before lunch or after (we try to be back in bukaya for lunch [which consists of leftovers usually] to save money). When we're in town you can find us carting large amounts of fabrics or bags of materials or groceries or sometimes (only one time really) a broken stove top that needs to be fixed. : ) - Currently all tukula tailors work in town or around town so we visit them a lot and make sure things are going well and no one is running out of any sort of material. You can also find us in central market (main market in jinja) a lot - buying food or random materials like the burlap we just purchased for a very special project we're working on.

When we are home during the day we are usually doing research, screen printing bag pockets, dyeing fabrics, making receipts, schedule planning, chasing chickens, cleaning the house, doing yard work, going to bukaya market, editing videos for amazima and shc, etc. etc.
Usually on Tuesdays and Thursdays if we don't have anything planned in the afternoon we go to Masese to hang out with our friends at Serving His Children.

We really aren't too extremely busy and usually let things wait until tomorrow if we really need to - because first and foremost we are disciples and that means taking time out of our schedules to help a little girl carry water, stop & chat with a complete stranger, or hold a baby who just needs some lovin'. : )

quick update

2010-05-10T04:21:00.000-07:00

Meet Carol...

Carol is currently working as a bead roller for SUUBI but is also doing some piece meal work for us while we receive applicants and interview future Tukula employees. She is very humble and does great work and we are happy that we get to work with her for a small period of time.

We currently have one bag design that is pretty popular and we are working on some smaller pieces as well. I'm really excited about everything and hoping to get a package sent to America by the end of June.

We are still enjoying Uganda. many hilarious things happen on a daily basis...today I got called Auntie Mombasa by a little girl in Masese.. bless her heart - my name is just too hard. I often get Auntie Musa or Auntie Molesta...My motorbike driver once called me Mwanza and kept insisting it was the most beautiful name ever...haha : ) We sometimes have people walk through our gate and come right up to our door selling bread or avocados or all kinds of different things - It usually ends with us being really confused because we have no idea what they're saying and them leaving bummed because we didn't purchase their goods. We had a chicken die in our yard a couple days ago - not quite sure what killed it but it was our neighbors chicken and I felt awful. It's pretty hilarious though because we are constantly have our neighbors chickens walk around our yard and we insist on locking our gate every night- I'm assuming if a chicken can get in a person can figure out how to get in too. A couple of weeks ago I was need to transport two book shelves to our house from town and so we strapped them on a motorbike and the driver said "OK now you get on.."so there I was smooshed between two bookshelves and my driver - I laughed the entire way down the bumpy old bridge path home. I really enjoy the simplicity of life here and sometimes can't imagine my life anywhere else - but I sure do miss people in America and sometimes can't imagine living away from them for long. If only I could have the best of both worlds. (Oh, Hannah Montana how do you do it?!) : )

Keep us in your prayers as we are making some important decisions this week.
much love,
Melissa

2010-04-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

The other day I met a man who works for Uganda's Parliament and he told me all kinds of interesting things but he said something that I will never forget:
"If you don't have a story no one will listen but if you have a story they will listen. Melissa, you have to have a story to tell - you understand?"

The following aren't only my stories but they have shaped my story - I hope you will listen.

Anna-Ophena was 3 or 4 when I first met her in the mountains of Guatemala. I remember it well, a blur of long black hair and a brightly colored traditional skirt. She smiled and when she moved her hair away from her eye she revealed a cataract covering her left eye. I scooped her up into my arms to get a better look. She looked straight at me face to face - eye to eye and the corners of her mouth began to form a smile and she leaped out of my arms and continued to twirl. She stuck close to me the majority of my time with her and was full of so much joy. After talking to a doctor I realized that Anna-Ophena could probably only half see me...that she could only half see the life around her but she fully lived...she jumped and twirled with every ounce of life in her. She taught me how to see the world with both eyes and a full heart. Sweet Ann-Ophena thank you for your example - I hope to see you again someday - if not here on earth maybe I will see you twirling around in heaven.

I remember like it was yesterday when Joe and I stumbled upon Brian and Lindsey near Lake Victoria. We had borrowed our night guard's bike for the evening and were taking a spin around town and down towards the lake and there they were - Lindsey's with her curly hair and Brian with his welcoming smile. I felt comfortable immediately with them. We exchanged phone numbers and we called them a few days later to bring in the new year together. Over the next few months we became good friends and I found such positivity in our relationship when our little world at Magwa was starting to crumble. I remember the day they left jinja we were about to drive away and brian brought us an envelope with money in it - we knew that they themselves could use that money but they had such faith that God would provide for them so they blessed us immensely - my small mustard seed started to grow after that night. I will always cling to our friendship for the rareness of understanding it brings - to know people who get it and teach us every time we talk to them. Brian and Lindsey, thank you for all you have taught me and continue to teach me- thank you for your giant sized faith and your deep devoted love for Jesus. You are both shining examples of JOY and your music speaks so much TRUTH. we love you guys and little Lucy.

I can't explain what made me long for distant lands at the age of 15 but I did. My first taste of poverty came from a lady on the streets of Chiang Mai, Thailand. She couldn't have been any older than 17 - she sat on the ground with her arms outstretched and hands cupped asking all everyone passing by for something...anything. Her baby played naked next to her. I starred as I walked by trying to not let her notice but I couldn't look away - when we were out of her sight I stopped in my tracks and froze overwhelmed with the feeling that I just passed up an opportunity to show love so without hesitation I immediately turned back to give her money. I handed her a few coins - she was pleased and we exchanged smiles and she continued to beg and her baby continued to play beside her. I walked away feeling like I didn't help at all and knowing that she had to feed herself and her baby that night - would she be able to? I knew that if she had a place to live she would have to pay rent - would she be kicked out? I wondered if she had been a victim of child trafficking? How can I help? what can I do? anything? - but I'm just so small...I believe this is when my mind was opened to social issues and women in vulnerable conditions. to the young lady with the cupped hands and small child: thank you for opening my eyes and teaching me to question things. thank you for making me feel uncomfortable. you are BEAUTIFUL and LOVED.

Fatima was a Muslim from Syria and she loved a christian soldier from Lebanon. She was carrying a small baby inside of her and this was a problem. First she fell in love with a christian - her family would be furious and second she had a baby out of wed-lock - her family would stone her. For her baby to have any chance at survival she decided to give him up for adoption. She gave birth at a Catholic Orphanage in Lebanon - her baby was a little boy - bright eyed and ready to take on the world - they named him Jimmy. Fatima left Jimmy with the nuns. I can't imagine what kind of strength she had to let her son go - a little one who was living inside her for nine months. At the age of four months Jimmy was adopted and brought to America. He is doing great things with his life now and helping many others - I believe that his mother's desire for him to have the BEST life is a major reason. Fatima, I don't even have the words to express to you how your great act of love for you son has changed my life in so many ways. You are a great mother and your great act of love has changed so many peoples lives. Thank you for your sacrafice - you INSPIRE me.

These are just a few stories that God has used to shape who I am.
remember, we can learn from everyone.
because everyone has a story if we just listen.

2010-04-05T09:57:00.000-07:00

It is dark outside and as I write this the sky is putting on an extravagant show - bright stars fill the sky and because bukaya is not near town you can actually see them in full effect. You can't see the lake but if you look closely you can see little lights on the fishermen's boats. It's beautiful - one of the many reasons why I don't mind paying the extra transport fees to get to town because we are farther away.

I don't really have many new things to report about tukula we are still in listening/planning phase. We are going to the capital tomorrow (kampala) to purchase materials for our home decor and accessories line (yep no more clothing line - just wasn't so cost effective or very practical right now). I'm extremely excited and overwhelmed all at the same time. Once we have some details nailed down - I will be so HAPPY to update you all with more of our new business model.

Joe and I are doing extremely well - we are really content with where we are - we really love our house and the people who live here with us. we enjoy our neighbors and the lake view and have been laughing so much and feeling the JOY of the Lord here. but there are often times when I think about how LUCKY I am to have this opportunity. one of our neighbors is this very humble 22 year old boy named Pius and he's the same age as me but wasn't able to finish school because of lack of money and is now looking for work. I keep asking Joe if we could just make up a job for him because I feel this crazy connection with him (we didnt make up a job but he will be cutting [or slashing with a machete] our yard every two or three weeks) - he was born the same year as me - I have this great big opportunity to help a lot of people but this boy cant even help himself...In my prayers I keep asking God "why me? why not pius?" and I definitely walk away from prayer time with more questions than answers. My heart is running wild and I'm enjoying all these thoughts but also feeling a bit guilty, but I know my God is good and He loves Pius! : )

not much else to report.
thanks for all your prayers and love!
-melissa

ps- happy easter!

2010-03-26T02:36:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!

A lot has happened since I last updated so I will make a list (it's what we're good at these days):

-Got a three month lease on a house - It's beautiful and the biggest house we looked at but the only one that would give us the price we wanted. It also has a fabulous view of lake victoria - what an Awesome God we serve!

(our house)

(just a hop and a skip from our house)

-I got really sick for 4 full days nothing but starring at the four walls in our bedroom or rolling into the pink/peach tile bathroom. I am feeling much better now - lost tons of weight and l look rather sickly and everyone keeps saying I dont look so good but me oh my I am rejoicing inside!

-we visited a tailoring school. a couple blocks from central market there is this little hole in the wall place with about 4 young girls outside sewing like their lives depend on it - they are so determined and not even the busyness of jinja streets distract them I walked passed there several times and have always been so intrigued - finally Joe nudged me in and we (mostly Joe) asked the teacher (grace) several questions about the school and the students etc. It was very interested and I enjoyed the vibe of the place a lot (but of course not even having what people inside your school should distract you from your work so the girls kept sewing!) Needless to say I have been thinking a lot about our visit there and am thinking about partnering with them to get the summer collection up (which should help with the students schools fees/teachers salaries) and I can continue to take my time in finding the right candidates for the tukula tailor positions - all at the same time hopefully gaining some capital. It's kind of a win/win. - We'll see! : )

-I received some prototypes and they are beautiful I'm super excited to go to kampala and search through the huge fabric arcade and pick out the summer patterns!! I'm pretty pumped about everything. If anyone knows any wholesalers or small boutique owners please send them our way! believe me! it will be worth it!

-Joe bought a motorbike for $750 just today (we thought for sure we would have to pay atleast $1,000 - again we serve an AWESOME God.) We are so excited to finally have dependable and consistent transportation. Where we live in bukaya it is aazing and quiet and full of really sweet people and I just like the atmosphere there but the only down side...It's about 10-15 minute drive to town...this wouldnt be a problem in america at all but here it is ROUGH. To get transport we had to walk to the main road. at night you cant find any transport unless you walk far and if you choose to walk there's no street lights and it's dark and possibly unsafe. If it rains you arent leaving the house basically now we atleast have the option and in case of emergencies its awesome. plus its just more economically sound for tukula - if we partner with the tailoring school we will be going to town a lot. again a win/win...EXCEPT we took out of savings to buy this one because we didn't think we should take from tukula's money right now before we start production....we're praying for some donations or at least some sort of sweet miracle.

Hopefully I will have more pictures soon!
thanks for the constant support and love. We feel it! : )
-m

2010-03-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

“Let’s forgive everyone, everywhere, everything, all the time…” – mewithoutYou

I write this note to you all not to preach to you but to ask that you would hold me accountable to not only what I say but to what Jesus says as well.

I have only been here a few days and in those few days I have heard from others and myself lots of criticizing and putting down of others. The white community here is something I really can’t figure out. We tear down others work because we “know what’s best” for this country. We are constantly talking about “empowering” Ugandans but strip all power away from those who are trying to do the same thing. We roll our eyes because someone is treating someone else with such disrespect. We run around showing friends our enemies planks in their eyes while ours just keep getting bigger.
By saying these things and by thinking these thoughts – I believe we are denying our “enemies” of a gift that we freely received and should be freely given. FORGIVENESS and LOVE.

Last night I cried all over my dear husband because I felt so guilty for the false image I and others were portraying of God. We refused to show love to our enemies but get glorified for loving the least of these. Jesus did not die on the cross JUST to save the least of these. We have become “celebrities” for taking the road less travelled and think that gives us the right to not grow or learn or to treat others with respect.

I no longer want to deny others of LIFE, LOVE, and FORGIVENESS through my words and my thoughts. I kindly ask that everyone will extend large amounts of grace to me as I know it takes the place of all I owe and for that I am EXTREMELY grateful.

"He has told you what is good - and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly with you God" Micah 6:8

I wonder if we really believe in what Jesus said sometimes…
here’s to reaping what we sow…

2010-03-12T19:15:00.000-08:00

friends,
After a LONG layover and a delayed flight and a dead battery in kampala rush hour we are here. I am writing this to you from Bukaya where we are with our good friend and searching for a home.

Every day so far has been pretty surreal and my heart is so full. Things in jinja are changing so rapidly and people are happy and can I tell you that we have not had to argue with ANY piki driver (motorbike taxi) in the past few days (WEIRD). : )

I don't know if it is because we are back with new eyes or if we are just too new but things are so different.

Since most people don't have email or money to call us they didn't know we were coming back - So, in the past two full days this has been our friends (and people we didnt even get to know so well) reactions: screaming, jumping, picking us up, more screaming and lots of hugging and even some crying. It has been too good for my heart. Joe and I left last year kind of out of the blue - I believe most people were confused and some a bit hurt so returning was something they never believed we would do - after all, about 85% of mzungus who enter Uganda say "I will come back" and never return. I had been regretting how we left these past six months - I didnt know why we had to do it so quickly and I knew that I was burning bridges and possibly not fostering relationships that were really good to me. but when we visited with our friends and family my heart felt such peace and I finally was able to let go of that regret. Agnes (the second tailor we hired for epoh) looked at us and said "you have REALLY loved us, with the true love of Jesus! thank you for coming back", Josephine the 4th tailor we hired said in her very broken english "I am feeling joy" Haman kept saying "oh, Jesus, I can't believe it, oh ,Jesus, I cannot believe it!" Innocence cried when she saw us...so did Charles - He hugged Joe for so long...even the little old onion man at market greeted us so warmly and remembered us and hugged Joe.

and Betty ... imagine this: coming home from school and seeing people you havent seen in a long time who are practically your family coming towards you...yep, she thought she was seeing a ghost. LOTS of screaming and jumping and hugging and hugging and mor hugging. Kymbi is so big and he is even talking so much.

Abdallah is big as well...he called us mom and dad...my heart sank.

of course, in true ugandan fashion all emotions are extreme and come hand in hand.
This is life - out in the open - sometimes things are really great and sometimes they are sad but in Uganda all emotions are seen..there is no hiding...there is no pushing it aside. Everything is so raw and in your face...it is good.

all this and we haven't even seen the suubi ladies yet.
: )

Today we will be looking at more homes and also getting to be a part of the amazima program as well as seeing the suubi ladies!

Things with tukula are interesting - we selfishly want to jump right into things so that we can start having a "normal" kind of life here but we have been realizing that we will definitely have to do more listening and a whole lot more praying. needless to say we still have a few meetings coming up with possible wholesalers and we are going to continue planning for them and of course just listen listen listen.

Joe and I are in such weird states - constantly being filled up to the brim with so much joy but also still questioning what we are doing and where God is pulling us and completely trying to trust him with everything....not gonna lie - it's so hard. And we feel inadequate or not needed a lot because everyone is expanding their organization or doing new things or talking about things I dont understand at all

again we are just going to continue to listen...and see where we end up...and seriously though it HAS only been two days.

we love and miss most of you people and are having a lot of fun and laughing A LOT. : )

now, time to go and do.
I will be joyful in God my Savior....- Habakkuk 3

-melissa

2010-02-24T08:25:00.000-08:00

Last night Jesus woke me up and we had a conversation that went like this:
He said "stop it - you can't do this anymore."
"what can't I do anymore? All this burden and hurt can't be me - I thought it was from YOU I thought you wanted me to carry this load for YOU."
"you are mistaken - didn't I tell you that my burden is light and my yoke is easy? you put your hand to the plow but turned around to look for me - when all along I was right in front of you. I already gave everything just to be with you and you did not have to continue to look - just be with me."

Psalm 139:7-10
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me.

He's been pursuing me like crazy and I made it my goal to pursue these things (ideas) for Him. At the end of the day when my husband and family aren't here, when tukula is done, when my hopes for people and my future aren't there - He is. It's just me and Him - "Just to be with you, I've done everything. There's no price I did not pay. Just to be with you, I gave everything - Yes, I gave my life away. Just to be with you."

He wants us - ALL OF US - Not just what we do for him but He wants our every thought, our every relationship, our every deed, our families. He wants to meet us everywhere...even when we run hardcore against the wind - He IS the wind.

"but Lord, what about my happiness? You said Your burden is light but this is going to HURT."
"It IS light - even when you are carrying a heavy cross I am there to carry it with you. I told you that if you search for happiness in the world you are missing the point - you will never be able to be WITH Me if you are still looking behind."

James 4:3-5
And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong. you want only what will give you pleasure. You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with this world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy this world, you can't be a friend of God. What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the Holy Spirit, whom God has placed within us, jealously longs for us to be faithful?

All this is still sinking in and I have been crying out a lot and just praying and wondering and we're still leaving our apartment in 4 days and we're still leaving the country in 11 days. Somewhere during all this I think God called me to be a disciple and I said yes...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

on earth as it is in heaven...

2010-02-19T10:44:00.001-08:00

"The poor themselves can create a poverty-free world.. all we have to do is to free them from the chains that we have put around them." -Muhammad Yunus

In the past few weeks we have been learning a lot about africa and the west and how they connect.

I read a comment by an african that said "Thanks for your help Bono, but you could help us better in getting us industry and income generation. We don't need the aid. It's killing us and enslaving us instead of helping us. $610 billion in 30 years didn't work. Why do we need more? It's time for plan B."

Now, I definitely don't think Bono should be the only one blamed because seriously who in the public eye is really giving africa a chance instead of pumping money into them? I have thought several times about the old saying if you give a man a fish vs. if you teach them how to fish...and I've thought about the whole hand up instead of hand out and have been very vocal about how I think we can better africa but I am learning more and more that we just need to LISTEN.

I think we so often forget that most african countries are young. Uganda became independent on October 9th, 1962. It is 48 years young - I think we need to let africa discover things on there own...but I think we need to encourage and inspire - giving opportunities and knowledge...just like our parents and leaders give us.

I so often think about hand outs - now I believe the intentions are good - but how does that help the family? how does that not leave them with dependency and thoughts of "the white people will take care of it". I believe we have allowed a lot of people to abandon their responsibility as a parent and as leaders. we are the outsiders coming in and LEAVING them with dependency and broken ideas. I would like to think of us as all equals..but how is that even possible when we have the ability to come and go as we please throwing around ideas and money and getting more out of it all than the people we intend to help. Oh if only we had Christ's eyes. oh if only we were more aware that people aren't puppets and toys...If only I knew that Africa isn't my playground.

Let's remember that our actions are extremely important, our intentions although good are not always right and let's continue to question charity and also lets continue to pour into people through one on one relationships - not just through pity. Let's give love not guilt money. We have spent 30 years failing africa not helping...something's got to change.

These are just my thoughts and opinions though.
I don't know what's best...I'm just going to try and listen better.

2010-02-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

"It's not personal, it's business." - Joe Fox
"Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal. " Kathleen Kelly
(you've got mail)

I think it's weird how the corporate world has gotten so big and impersonal that we had to create a different movement called "fair trade" or "social business". Why can't all businesses see the importance of bettering the lives of not just consumers and buyers but also the betterment of whole communities of people who need an opportunity such as the "western market". Shouldn't that be what it's all about - bettering the lives of everyone around the world...around your office? To me..that equals success..not the amount of money in your bank account. But should we just be buying things from "social businesses" because they have a story behind them? Should we really just buy more crap so that we can feel good about our purchases and the people behind them? Sometimes I wonder what in the world am I trying to accomplish with Tukula? Nobody needs new clothes. I don't want to be a part of the consumer world, really. I just want to create beautiful garments (because I really love fashion) and inspire my friends on the other side of the world to create their own opportunities along with allowing them to see that they are WORTH my time and are respectable young ladies. But for all this to work I need consumer to buy the garments that my friends will tailor. It's like a circle that I don't know how to get out of. How can I help people without having to rely on the western consumer world and donors...is it possible? Joe and I were really excited when we thought about selling our clothes in Uganda as well as the US and UK. We thought - we did it...we figured out a way to do this. But in all reality we will be making the most money in Uganda but Western Tourists. At the end of the day we were back at square one. And I can't help but wonder if there is any way to do this better. Can I be a better steward of my time, resources, and ideas?

Maybe I will just end up giving in to this consumer world just for the betterment of the young women I hope to serve effectively. Maybe I just need to swallow my pride and do this for them and them alone...because after all they are my ultimate priority. But rest assured friends I am still striving to find answers and new ideas. please continue to question the standards with me and let me know what you come up with. : )
love,
melissa

2010-01-26T13:09:00.000-08:00

All day long I think about Africa. I wake up and see my cat and immediately think "aw I'm going to miss you when I'm in Uganda". I make coffee "I can't wait to make coffee and sit outside in the morning when I'm in Uganda" I take a shower "Hot showers and pretty rare in Uganda." I put on my shoes "so excited to go barefoot or slip on flip flops in a little over a month" I walk outside "It's so cold...It's warm in Africa" My favorite is when I see an african american and my first instinct is to say "olyotia" or "kopengo".

all this to say... I AM REALLY EXCITED.
I have been learning some really good lessons lately though and thought I would share.

lesson #1: Is it just me or is Jesus extremely radical?
"A certain ruler asked him,
'Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'
'Why do you call me good?' Jesus answered.
'No one is good—except God alone.
You know the commandments:
Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal,
do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'
'All these I have kept since I was a boy,' he said.
When Jesus heard this, he said to him,
'You still lack one thing.
Sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me.'"
(Luke 18:18-22)

I can't get over the whole "then come follow me"...Sometimes I deny myself of a lot of things or give a lot of myself but forget that last part. I believe that giving all you have and following Jesus are two different things but we can't follow Jesus unless we give all we have...once this happens we are totally separated from this world and taking up the identity of Christ (broken bread and poured out wine..as oswald chambers would say) to do exceedingly MORE than what Jesus did on earth.

I know this because of this verse: (also lesson #2) "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." -- Jesus
(John 14:12-14)

We are called to do MORE (we have HUGE shoes to not only fill but to burst out of). BUT we have to take the WE out of it all. oswald chambers says (lesson #3): "most of us live on the borders of consciousness -- consciously serving, consciously devoted to God. all this is immature, it is not the real life yet. the mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. when we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured out wine, there is another stage to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God."

This is all truth, friends. We have to be willing to live out this truth..or to at least try...to at least question and make radical moves towards something other than ourselves. I pray you (myself included) are extremely uncomfortable until you actually DO something.

much love, melissa

ps: www.tukula.org is up...It's not quite official yet but were working on it.

2010-01-18T05:34:00.000-08:00

this weekend Joe and I watched a documentary about the Lost boys of Sudan called "God Grew Tired of Us" and at the end one of the boys was leaving America and Going back to his friends and family in Africa, and he said, "This is the BEST - I am going to Africa!"
I haven't been able to get it out of my head. When I feel a little bit stressed about finances or plans in general - I just whisper to myself "this is the best..."
It's such a sweet reminder of how I actually feel when things are crazy around me.

We leave on March 8th!
Excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel!
We still need to raise $1,300 in consistent monthly support for 2010. Please let me know if you want to donate towards Tukula! e-mail: melissasuecarter@gmail.com

Also, we are on twitter now! So weird, but somewhat fun! www.twitter.com/tukulawegrow
Thank you for reading this blog thing! Our official website will be up before March, hopefully. : )

2010-01-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given." - Mother Teresa

Joe and I are constantly on edge when it come to Tukula funds - to say the least they are non-existent. I don't know what we could do different. we are really trying to cut down on everything now that we know we are leaving. We are getting rid of cable this month. something we really don't need especially when we went a whole year without a tv. I would definitely encourage you to get rid of your cable if you have it. It's extremely relieving and makes you more productive. We are currently trying our best to not buy as many groceries as we once were. just because it's there and it looks good does not mean we need it. last night I started a rule in our apartment (mostly with myself) that I can only have one thing on at a time. for example: if the computer is plugged in no light can be on. weird I know but this helps me to be more aware of the electricity I am using. I do feel pretty silly sometimes sitting in the dark.

I often think that if people could see our bank accounts they would laugh and call us foolish for starting a business. sometimes I think we are.

but then God reminds me that I need faith as tiny as a mustard seed and He can move mountains. Honestly, I never asked for Tukula. I never wanted to move back to Uganda. That wasn't what I wanted. of course I always knew I would go back and visit but to do business and live in uganda again? no way not in the picture..tried it and it didnt work out God brought us back here. I remember when Tukula first came to my mind I asked God to immediately take it away. "seriously. God? Did you not see us when we were DROWNING while working in Uganda?" I didn't want it, but then all of a sudden I remembered my dear friends agatha and haman and so many other young people who have SO MUCH potential but not outlet. God wants to use us to do this. It had to be him..HAD TO. because no piece of me or Joe wanted to go back and do this. But here we are so completely and helplessly longing for this to work out. to be the change we want to see in uganda.

so we're asking God for love, kindess, understanding, and peace. We believe along with mother teresa that the rest will come.

Let's seek first His kingdom, friends, even if it looks foolish and crazy.
the rest will come - money will fall from the sky just as He has planned it before I even thought it.

Be encouraged.

(ps: we have a TON more necklaces/bags and random things from africa that we still have and are selling if you are at all interested please let me know melissasuecarter@gmail.com)

2009-12-30T11:29:00.000-08:00

hi friends! just thought I would give everyone an update on us and tukula.

We had a very wonderful and white christmas. Played about a million games of yahtzee, had many delicious meals, and went ice skating. After a much needed break Joe and I are back to working really hard to get tukula up and going. the website will hopefully up in a week or so. we are trying to finalize some decisions and answer questions for our selfless grant writer, Gray Ladd, Wouldn't know what to do with out him and his wife such blessings. We are in the process of finalizing our budget asumption for the year 2010. We are trying to get some more concrete monthly donors. We have come up with a way to make it a little easier. It's called the $10 for '10 campaign. If you are interested we are looking for people to donate $10 a month for the year 2010. that's a total of $120 for the entire year. that's not a lot but if everyone I know donated that much it would help joe and I return to uganda and make this vision a reality. so if you're interested please let me know melissasuecarter@gmail.com (if you want to give more that's ok too ) : )
I had a man ask me for 75 cents today on my walk to queen street...it felt so weird being the one asked for money as I am the one doing it all the time. I feel like a broken record sometimes. Sorry for that : )

I read this today and thought it was such a simple truth.

"Grace means that in the middle of our struggle the referee blows the whistle and announces the end of the game. We are declared the winners and sent to the showers. It's over for all huffing, puffing piety to earn God's favor, it's finished for all sweat-soaked straining to secure self worth; it's the end of all competitive scrambling to get ahead of others in the game. Grace means that God is on our side and thus we are victors regardless of how well we played the game. We might as well head for the showers and the champagne celebration." - Donald McCullough

It's a nice reminder that we don't have to earn grace or even God's favor - it's just there. we can relax - we can stop taking ourselves so seriously.

That's my hope for the year 2010 - stop taking myself so seriously. It's ok to fail - God won't love me any less. I want to practice forgiveness and I want to love without measuring... I just want to give it intensely and immensely.

2010 is going to be such a fruitful year..I just know it.
now, let's go do.
peace

ps: one of the best things that happened in 2009 was that Joe and and I got married in uganda! woo hoo!

2009-12-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Dear friends and family,
Our minds change a lot, our plans change even more and if I had a quarter for every time we came up with an idea and didn't follow through we would be rich. We are young and ever growing. But something that has stuck with us has always been the NEED we have seen through-out the world, particularly in Uganda. I recently read an analysis report that discussed how in Uganda the problem isn't that people are un-trained or un-willing to work it's that there are no good jobs. So this endless circle of poverty doesn't stop. We have met numerous Ugandans who have several children and no way to care for them or even themselves. We have been awakened by knocking on our door by people asking for ANY work at all. I have had Godly women lie to me just to be able to send their children to school (which costs about $300.00 a YEAR <--- less than the average amount of money spent on some american's MONTHLY grocery bill). It's not fair. It's not fair that my husband and I can spend $25.00 on ordering pizza for dinner ONE night and that is the AVERAGE MONTHLY INCOME of a Ugandan. It's not fair that contestants on the Reality TV show Survivor get ONE MILLION DOLLARS for "surviving" a month in circumstances my friends halfway across the world live in everyday of their lives. That's the REAL reality and IT'S NOT FAIR.

But it goes on.
While I sit here and type - It's all still happening.
It doesn't stop while we are sleeping or driving to work.
It doesn't stop for us when we ignore it.
So we're choosing to face it head on.
we have made an important and concrete decision to start an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation) called Tukula
(which means "we grow" in lugandan), and here's the vision:

We will be visiting trade schools and inquiring about those studying to be tailors. After we choose students who we deem to live in the most vulnerable conditions we will be hiring them to start work on a clothing line made out of Ugandan fabrics and materials (think shorts, dresses, skirts in some of the funnest bright prints)!
We will then be selling the clothing line in America at affordable costs.
We believe that Economic Empowerment for young adults is an important way to stop the cycle of poverty before they have children who end up in the cycle with them. We believe that the next generation of Ugandans with the right education and resources can become role models and make a lasting difference in their communities. We want to not only meet their immediate needs but also allow them to follow their dreams.

Tukula's hopes are to require each tailor to open a bank account and help every tailor understand the importance of saving for their future or for a specific goal. They will be given a monthly salary, a percentage of which will go straight into their bank account in order to encourage them to save each month.

We will help set financial goals for each tailor (making the goal appropriate for their living situation and future career goals). Once those goals are met they will be set off "on their own" and no longer be in the Tukula program, which then leaves a new opening at Tukula and we will start the process all over with a new member. We will follow up with all former Tukula tailors to ensure the effectiveness of the program in the long run.

We would also like to hire a graduate of business studies from Uganda to help run operations and to help with cultural barriers (language, customs, fair prices, etc.). This will help there to be a smooth work environment and minimal frustrations throughout Tukula.

Other ways we hope to help the tailors is to purchase a kilo of rice and beans each week, and each month send them home with a chicken.

We will be taking care of all the medical needs of our tailors(if any). We have seen the horrors of Ugandan hospitals and find it of great importance to make sure the people we serve get propper medical treatment no matter what the cost.

At Tukula we even have hopes to go beyond the business and see that we make an impact not only on the Tailors' lives but also in the lives of people in the communities surrounding us. We would like to be able to help street children and children living in poor areas of Uganda by making connections with children's homes, street missions, and village outreaches and donating clothes made by our tailors. Every month, we hope to work with a different group to make this project possible.

Of course, all of this is going to require start up costs.

I have currently set up a budget that I believe to be the monthly costs for the first year.
Everything will start at around $3,200 a month. This includes: salaries, product materials, clothing children project, sewing machines (maintanence), nutrtion program, medical needs, compound (workshop) rent.

For this vision to become reality, Tukula needs people to invest their money, resources, and talents:

If you choose to be a member of Tukula financially you will be the first to receive all Tukula products for free. You will receive monthly financial updates and also video updates from the tailors. We are also interested in one time donations and you will receive financial updates and video updates as well. Our goal is to have products available by the end of 2010 so we can eventually sustain ourselves.

Your donation will not be a forever committment but you will get to choose to donate monthly for a year and after a year you can evaluate our financial situation and see if it is still needed. For example: once products are sold and bought the amount of monthly donations needed will decrease.

If you aren't financially able to donate monthly there are other options:
1.) PRAY PRAY PRAY
2.) SPREAD THE WORD about tukula.
3.) USE YOUR SKILLS - we are interested in meeting with people who have backgrounds in grant writing, fashion design, Business, retail, public relations, etc.
4.) If you are a musician, photographer, or videographer, and want to help - we want to talk with YOU.

Please let us know of any ideas you have for Tukula or just anything at all. We're open to a lot of things.

If this is something you are interested in please contact me at melissasuecarter@gmail.com with "TUKULA" in the subject line.

We are so glad that our lives are finally going into a direction that is what we've always hoped they would go in. God has been gracious towards us and has allowed us to live out our dreams. We can't believe that God would entrust so much into our hands. We are thankful for you and your encouragement and support.
May you be so incredibly blessed for all you do.
With much love, grace and peace,

Joe and Melissa Terranova

2009-11-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

Jesus called me out of bed tonight to read this:

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful"

- 2 Timothy 2: 20-24

come tortoise EMPTY HANDS go hummingbird my plans

2009-06-28T03:38:00.000-07:00

I write this note to you all with great peace but also with very little understanding.

Joe and I will be leaving Uganda on August 10th.
that's about 6 weeks from now.
yes
6 months left here turned into 6 weeks.

I really don't want to share the details of why were leaving...because truthfully I don't know all the details myself. Joe and I don't really know where we are going or what we will be doing or how we will feel after leaving this place but we're jumping into it with both feet and with our arms flailing. Attempting to grab any and everything we can.
God is faithful...always always.

This will probably be my last blog as I don't think I can bare to write about all our last moments here.. about all our goodbye and tears.
So here's to you Uganda...to your open arms, your people, to your beauty and dancing.

to Betty -- my love for you will remain warm and caring. I will miss hearing you laugh and scream. thank you for being Joe and I's family -- for calling me sister. I believe in you in your honesty and in your heart. Be a good steward of what God bestows on you. And continue to be a shining light to those you meet. MAY GOD BLESS YOU, friend.

to kymbi, grow in truth and be joyful, little one. If ever you feel as though you have no one in the world to go to remember uncle Joe and I are praying for you and love you so much. Please obey your mother even if you think she is crazy. : )

to the women of SUUBI -- I write this with tears in my eyes...you are my heart strings. I asked God to show me truth...and He showed me YOUR truth...who you women are...you are just like me. I hope that someday this truth will allow me to love you better. I will never forget YOUR love for me. I will never forget the pounding of your feet on the dusty earth or the sound of you calling my name. take care of each other and be kind.

to the EPOH tailors -- thank you for your joy and hard work. Thank you for allowing Joe and I to be a part of your lives -- we will forever be grateful and blessed because of that. My heart rejoices with your new opportunity and I will pray that the goals you have set for yourselves will be reached. (oh what a beautiful day when Charles gets a car, when Agnes is teaching children how to sew, and when Alice can bless students with a college hostile!) I hope that someday you will understand our leaving early and also our longing to be with you.

we love you all
amarimatek
nkwagalanyo

keep us in your prayers as we will be doing to same.
afoyo afoyo afoyo
-Auntie M.
(Mugole)

2009-06-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

.Joyce.
From the northern district of Pader, Joyce has experienced great suffering and pain.
Joyce was forced to watch many of her family members die at the hand of the LRA.
She is daily reminded of the hurt up north from her husband who has post traumatic stress disorder. My heart aches for the lady but also rejoices with her when she dances. She is always ready with a hug. Joyce's family sells vegetables in Danida and works for SUUBI as a bead maker.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

.Daisy.
Mother of a baby girl named Rachel, Daisy is constantly in good spirits.
She recently moved to Danida from the north western district of Nebbi.
Daisy cares for a niece who's parents died in the Congo.
Daisy Makes paper beaded necklaces and also sells firewood.
She is young and kind and has a heart of gold.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

2009-06-19T02:33:00.000-07:00

.Leonida.
More affectionately called "Obama"
due to her great speaking and leadership skills.
Mother of 9 who comes from a north western district called Nebbi.
she now lives in a cement hut in a village called Soweto
a few minutes outside of Jinja.
Leonida loves to learn English and
has a passion for making paper-beaded necklaces.
She is ever smiling and willing to help.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what beautiful God You must be.

.Hellen.
An extremely talented lady from Danida.
She makes a consistent income by working with SUUBI but
also spends a lot of time making small dresses in Central Market.
Hellen has the most gorgeous ebony skin and
because of her shy and sweet demeanor
she will make you feel like you have to whisper.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

.Kwaagala, Margret.
At the ripe age of 71
Margret is the oldest member of SUUBI.
Her kind and welcoming arms make me believe
that the meaning of her last name (Love) was destined for her.
Since she birthed no children and her husband passed away,
Margret lives alone in Walukuba.
She is offered much help from her nephews and nieces
and is grateful for company.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

2009-06-03T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have had a bad attitude lately. I like to blame it on Africa not being romantic anymore or all the hardships I've been facing. But honestly it's because I haven't been searching for anything. I have been hopelessly floating around talking about love and truth and what I think that looks like. I have been turning up my nose towards people thinking I am better or more "cultured". I have been yelling at and pleading with people to just notice me.
I am Peter drowning in the water.
I have also been in a really great mood. I like to blame that on a little boy named Kymbi who I have spent many hours holding, hugging, and laughing with. But honestly it's because of my husband who I have neglected but have realized makes me the happiest girl in the world. I have spent five minutes out of my day helping a little girl mop her home and giggled with her the entire time. I have had grasshopper parties with Betty, Sharon, and even little Marvin. I have sat in a small stall in Amber Court with Agnes and shy Alice and I have driven through Uganda at night with the cool breeze skimming my face.
I am Peter when he remembered.
All this to say I have been up and down and up and down and up and down.
I think of people who are able to come and go in this place and if they really see anything. I see people who have been here for years but are missing everything. I sometimes think I am somewhere lost in between the two. Africa is a complicated place. There are real deal battles Joe and I face everyday that have been attributed to "It's just their culture" or "they were desperate" or "they don't know any better". I wonder if that's ok? Should we let that excuse there actions? should we give them so much grace that they don't change? do I want them to change? I think about America and how badly we all wanted "change" and that's why Obama was so appealing but since I haven't heard of anything changing and it seems like everyone is fine with that? maybe I am naive but I like to think that you can only change something or something can only change if the thing that's asked to change wants to be changed.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say or get across.

I started writing this (it's taking me about three days to finish it) with thoughts of speaking what I believe to be the truth to change your thoughts on Africa or America or myself or yourself but have talked myself out of it along the way.
I don't want to change your mind.
do something that will change your own.

2009-05-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

hello friends!
yesterday I took the worlds longest walk to the post office with this fella'.

well, maybe it wasn't the worlds longest walk but it seemed like it when they are doing construction on main street and I had to carry him and the stroller for most of the way. : ) I love spending time with this little man...he is very well behaved and just a sweetheart. Most of you old volunteers will be excited to know that he is talking a bit more he can now say "Betty" (yes with a b and not a d), "Doe-Doe" (his version of Uncle Joe and sometimes I get called Doe Doe as well..oh the things you aquire when you get married), "Meow", "cat", "shoes", "yum yum", and more of his versions of words that I can't remember. Him and his mother...although crazy... have been a huge source of joy in the past few weeks during some frustrating situations. Betty said one of the cutest things a couple of days ago after I was telling her about how she will have new people to look at instead of seeing us all the time (yes we have two new volunteers...they are most welcome!) she said "Auntie no, we are just family, they will come and go but we are here. I do not get tired of seeing you." warmed my heart!

Dave Hansow (founder and creative director of LGH) is coming tomorrow. which is great! we are thankful to have some of the Suubi re-vamping burdens lifted off of us and for him to meet the EPOH tailors. Pray for safe travels and follow his blog daveinuganda.wordpress.com

I hope you are all gearing up to visit LGH at some summer festivals and I hope you all have been saving your money for the new Flavour of the Month designs that are coming out! They are pretty neat!

Hope all is well in your little corner of the world!
Peace!
-melissa

2009-05-21T06:20:00.000-07:00

I sat in Luwum, Christine's small Danida home today completely vulnerable. Completely open to everything she was saying. I sit here in our home office completely vulnerable to all of you. Completely at ease with saying that I have made a lot of mistakes.
I see the SUUBI ladies how I want to see them. Ladies who have nothing but are God fearing, ladies who govern themselves and care for each other. To be honest I have had blinders over my eyes for months and months and today while I sat with my elbow on my knee and my chin in my hand they quickly slided away. It was if I were skipping stones off my back...I was no longer carrying their burdens. We are all the same. I saw the SUUBI ladies for who they all really were. Beautiful, selfish, kind, helpless, hopeful, strong-headed, joyful, and greedy. They're just like me.
I wish for everyone to see each other for who they truly are. children of God, sinners, and shining flowers. I ask that today you really look at each other, listen deeply, be honest, strong, and vulnerable. It's hard but it's worth it.

pray for us and know we are praying for you.
Also, if you don't understand any of this -- know that my heart is dancing today
and I will be just fine.

love, melissa

pray for us

2009-05-16T03:15:00.000-07:00

please.

2009-05-10T04:17:00.000-07:00

what if there were no color?
what if there were no statuses?
I think we would all look and act a lot more alike
than we think we would.

Jinja, I love you, but you're bringing me down.

2009-05-01T09:57:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Joe and I will set our compasses to the north and wont stop until we hit Gulu town.
We've decided it was time for a break. As much as we love our family here.
we know that when we leave we will miss them but we need a chance to miss them.
and
We love our work here but sometimes it consumes us... sometimes we can't think of anything else because it's all around us (which isn't a bad thing!) -- we just a need a vacation... a chance to be husband and wife instead of mostly co-workers!

so onward to the land that I love.. ACHOLI LAND.
pray for safe travels! we will update when we return!
love, melissa

ps: check out the new flavour of the month! (suubiafrica.org)
and save your money for the June flavours also you wont want to miss these gems!
pss: get so excited because the EPOHbags look fabulous! and we're already designing some other things! sign up and get on board! (epohbags.com)

2009-04-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

2009-04-22T04:58:00.000-07:00

Charles (our head EPOH tailor and friend) returned to Jinja a few weeks ago. And since then EPOHbags in Uganda has been coming to life. It's unreal to hold the bags that I for so long thought about and envisioned. It's beautiful to be able to meet the artisans that I have been wondering about and praying for. Their stories of great sorrow have turned into rejoicing. And when we talked to Charles about EPOH he sometimes covers his face and just says "afoyo afoyo afoyo" (thank you). Agnes (our second official tailor) likes to scratch my back when I speak in Luo or really when I say anything. I've slowly become quite a bit restless here in Jinja...and feel as though I just go through the motions most days...but these small glimpses of heaven (or what I believe to be some sort of heaven) that I have found in these tailors renew and refresh me.
slowly by slowly I'm feeling a little bit fuller.
hallelujah

Joe and I spent some time in town with Kymbi this morning, buying many meters of liner, spools and spools of thread, zippers, and I hit the jackpot at a small stall in central market where a lady pulled out scraps and scraps of some of the most beautiful fabrics (to all future EPOH costumers, please know that the fabrics on your bag are specially hand picked, original, and recycled)!

Tomorrow we are going to have a small photo shoot with our three wonderful tailors.
super excited about that even though our camera isn't nice -- we just get to be more creative this way! During my senior year of high school I was almost certain that I was going to go to Delaware college of art and design to study photography. after a visit to south east asia a few weeks after graduation day I knew for certain that was not what I was going to do. God had different ideas of how He wanted to use my photography. afoyo to the creator of all good things!

get ready, friends, EPOH is coming!

you are most welcome!

2009-04-13T18:22:00.001-07:00

Sorry this is delayed but Happy Easter! We spent our day with friends and our little family here in Jinja. Hope your day was as blessed and full of good fellowship as ours was.

Things are busy and I feel like Joe and I are always running around picking something up dropping something off having meetings what what...but on Thursday I could just be. I got to feel like a "volunteer" again and just be here and experience things.

Around 10:00 am we picked up Natalina and took her to FINCA where we opened an account for her.. our first account. We were going to wait for our first ten who had their LC letters and 11,000 to open but a lot of people have one without the other and are slowly by slowly getting things done... but not Natalina she had her money and letter and pictures all ready for us months ago. So I thought it wasn't fair that she had to wait so long... she was ready and excited and while we filled out her application thursday morning I knew that she was going to benefit highly from this.

After everything was signed and Natalina got her pass-book and deposited her first 15,000 shillings she was beeming. we all hugged and congratulated her. We asked natalina why she wanted FINCA and after she giggled a bit she said "I want a safe place to save money so it doesn't get lost in my house."
wonderful. : )

After we dropped Natalina back off at her home in Walukuba we ran back home to grab some lunch and then Marlena and I footed back to Walukuba more specifically to babu hill to visit Claire.
About a week ago Claire was walking home from work at the orphanage and was hit by a car. I knew that I just had to visit her and see how she was doing. I couldn't remember where exactly she lived but I knew that if I went to Gettu's on the hill I would be able to find Claire... I didn't even need to go to Gettu's because the second we arrived on babu hill we saw Agnes and some man waving at us and their was Claire. Smiling from ear to ear as always and insisting that we come in and sit down. She showed us her x-rays and doctor papers and I looked at them concerned but had no idea what they said. Claire kept saying "oh Auntie Melissa, God really loves me". and I was just amazed this women who was just hit by car who lost most of her family in the war up north who was sitting in her small one room home was saying this. That's what I call faith. We chatted for a bit and prayed for Claire's leg and then we were on our way. We footed to Danida (not really sure who we were going to visit) but decided when we got there that Luwum, Christine would be a refreshing stop. When we arrived I didn't see Christine anywhere just her children Smith, Patricia, and Thomas (who was wearing a dress.. of course). Smith (with all his missing teeth) quickly darted off somewhere and arrived back with his mother who was rolling beads for beatrice who was in the hospital... so we offered to help christine roll beads and chat. Christine told us a story about how she met two mzungus in town who were from colorado they asked christine where she got her necklace and told her that it looked like a SUUBI necklace...Christine laughed and said "I'm a suubi lady" the two girls were so excited to be meeting a suubi lady and christine invited them to her house to visit . I'm so proud of our women and so excited that people love them and don't even know them. While we were laughing and rolling a man came in and told christine that Beatrice had returned so off we went to see how she was doing...sweating, tired, and laying on her couch beatrice excitedly said "you are most welcome!" I love these ladies.. they are absolutely inspiring and humbeling and oh how they make me laugh! After learning some more luo and praying for Beatrice we decided to make the walk back to Magwa before it got too late. while we were walking we ran into Stella (Margaret's daughter and Doreen's sister) and I decided that I could use a good Doreen visit. so we branched right pass the bricks and up the small hill before I could even see doreen I heard her and her sisters and friends laughing. They are beautiful and bring me too much joy. Margret invited us into the sitting room and brought us soda's. we sat and watched the little boys run around and the baby pull the cat's ears. When I was finished drinking I went to the doorway and sat with Doreen and her friends -- they were practicing their singing and dancing. It was just what my heart needed something light and sweet. Lucky asked me when they were done to pray for their "choir" so of course I agreed. I thought it was so cute that she wanted her little group to be prayed over and blessed.
I absolutely love just being here. Sitting in small hot houses, rolling beads, and learning new things. just what I needed. Sometimes the busy-ness of the "business" here can become quite overwhelming but I am truly blessed to be able to just be with our ladies some days.

sorry if this post is a little hard to follow and sounds repetetive ...It's 5:12 in the A.M. and every dog on our street is howling at the moon.. but not our dog.. she's fast asleep in Betty's basin under the sink. ohhhh, Ruthie. I should go back to sleep -- Joe and I are off to K'la tomorrow!
peace.
-melissa

2009-04-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

This morning was gray again.
I have to be honest and say that lately it has been hard. Our dearest friends here left on Monday. We only got a four day notice (they only got a four day notice). Betty has been in a depressed mood as she has seen many babies die at the children's hospital while she waited there with Kymbi for unnecessary injections (please pray for her spirit..and for peace). I found out yesterday that my pop-pop had passed away. When I hung up the phone with my mother I just sat in the van on main street waiting for Joe with tears running down my cheeks. As I write this the tightness in my throat is coming and I know in a few minutes if I let myself I will cry again. I didn't even know my pop-pop well but I know my family and I just want to be with them. I want to see Cody's freckle face and hug my mom...even more so hug my dad...and it just keeps raining. But then I think of my 5 children in Danida (who come running when they see me-- and I drop to my knees and say "my babies". The lady who stirs a big pot of some amazing Ugandan cuisine always laughs and says "You had all those babies yourself?" and I say "No, I HAVE all these babies myself.. in my heart.") They are my HEART babies. I think of JaJa Nora with her small eyes and big laugh. I think of Carol and her willingness to serve her children in any way possible. I think of the Source of the Nile where Joe and I got married -- where so much more started. I think of charcoal lady at the speed bump with the ever sarcastic smile. Oh, I even think of how our new Saturday translator (Betty) said as she held my hands "we will cry so many tears when you leave us". I think of that thing that came unhinged inside of me a few years ago.
This is only a season.
I constantly tell myself that when things are tough and I just want to hop on the next plane out of here. Or when I have my "once a month freak outs" (as Joe calls them) and they all end in "I miss my mom".
This is only a season.
but is it?
Clouds (and rain) are often used to describe hard times.
In Walking On Water Madelleine L'Engle says:
"Love, not answers. Love that trusts God so implicitly despite the cloud (and is not the cloud a sign of God?)..."
This is only God...and today... this minute...I'm ok with that.
I'm going to hold on to His hands and say "I will cry so many tears if You should ever leave me".
and He will say "come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest". And here I will be holding His hands and resting at His feet.
Hallelujah to the King of Kings!
once again He is faithful.

I'm just here/

2009-04-02T21:56:00.001-07:00

8 new visitors at the house right now.
7 leave in a week and 1 leaves in three months.
explaining and showing where everything is.
trying to pump out some bags for summer festivals.
working on Flavour of the Month necklace designs and getting proper paper.
wishing Betty wouldn't take kymbi to get so many un-needed injections.
dealing with ridiculous ATM's.
visiting the old men at market who give fair price.
making the 3 hour trek to the airport and back two times this week.
cooking and cleaning and cooking and cleaning.
vomiting.
praying for our head tailor to return as quickly as possible.
praying for all sorts of things!

for northern uganda/ "come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest"

2009-03-26T21:49:00.000-07:00

seeking truth seeing truth and there you are - I cried for you I danced for you I waited outside in the rain for you and here we are. you were a song of great discovery of a crying out and heard a beating of the ground of dirt and pain of a great big happening - an all too familiar round and round rejoice.

2009-03-22T22:10:00.000-07:00

friends,
not much to report here.

working on the EPOH bags -- looking for/cutting fabric, thread, zippers, rows and rows of lining, getting measurements, writing guidelines, inquiring about screen printing, waiting and praying for our artisans.

The SUUBI ladies are beautiful..as always. making us laugh until the tears flow. I can't imagine life without them. They are too good for me. Teaching me about life and love..and other mysteries. I am blessed.

There's a lot on our hearts and minds.
But not much to write.

Mom, sometimes January seems to far away.
I miss you the most -- may God bless you in ways you never thought were possible.

Love you all so much,
melissa

this boy/creature/tick/fool/kymbi is real

2009-03-14T03:54:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been extremely trying and exhausting. They’ve also been blessed and eye-opening. Our house girl/friend (Betty)’s son Kymbi has been suffering from fibril convulsions – meaning that he convulses when his temperature gets to a certain level, which can come on quite abruptly. The only reliable doctor in town says he has 70% virus throughout his blood stream, which is incredible. This situation would be terrifying enough in America, but here in

Uganda

, this scenario takes on a whole new form.

Ugandan doctors have been telling Betty that Kymbi has malaria, like they tell everyone - it's like malaria is literally the only disease they know about. It’s so incredibly frustrating, especially when they don’t even test for malaria. They just pump people full of the meds for it. When Kymbi started having this second wave of convulsions (after over a month of none), we took him to Vithi Medical Center, which is Ugandan run. After a horrible experience of the doctors jabbing at Kymbi with needles trying to find a vain just so they could hook him up to a Glucose IV, which was not necessary at all, and after them openly admitting that they didn’t know what they were doing, we decided to take him to Dr. Debbie, an Australian doctor whose office is near the Children’s Hospital here in Jinja. She’s the one who told us about he viral infection and told us what to do about it – namely, we can’t do much but let his immune system take care of it, and pray…a lot.

What makes matters more difficult is that Betty is having such a hard time trusting anyone. Her father is telling her to go to the Ugandan doctors, we’re telling her otherwise, and she just doesn’t know what to do. She is impressionable as it is, and basically listens to whatever some one tells her, even if she disagrees.

For me, I want the best for Kymbi and so forced Dr. Debbie upon Betty. But I can’t help but think about how many Ugandans have unreliable information about their sick child or loved one. It makes me feel incredibly blessed to have access to good medical care back home. But still, what about the people here?

As I sat in line with Betty at the Children’s Hospital (where she took Kymbi even though we told her not to!) waiting for some one to see us, there was a line of about 20 women and their babies. I thought of the wrong-headed information they would probably get, and how much they would suffer because of it.

There is so much more to it than this, and so much more that I feel, but I can’t quite articulate it. But please pray for us, for Kymbi and Betty, and for whatever else you happen to think about. Peace. - jt

2009-03-10T09:53:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about whether I should write to you all about a certain burden that has been on my heart or if I should just keep it to myself so as not to discourage people from helping or caring for people here in Uganda...especially in northern Uganda. And I do not want to knock the selflessness of all those who give. but truly --my intentions with this note to you all is to ENCOURAGE you to think outside the box to get creative to help someone in a way that will LAST.
*
Every time I walk down main street here in Jinja town I usually see a white SUV with some sort of NGO logo plastered on the side of it. I remember when I was up north seeing huge tents that had WFP (world food program) on them. Whenever I meet a new mzungu they always ask what organization I am volunteering with because why else would white people be in Uganda? It's everywhere. In northern Uganda people are feeling secure enough to leave the displaced camps they have been living in for the past many years but most are not going to leave because of the security that they find in food/clothes/school fees being handed to them. They fear going back to there lands because they might not have food. The Acholi people are not beggars they are hardworking people but because of the war and being forced out of there villages they have become beggars and I think with all the aid/hand outs/ ngo's they will continue to be beggers -- they will rely on mzungus so much that they will become lazy.

I don't want this for the Acholi people.. I don't want this for the Ugandan people.
I want to bring market to them..I want to offer them skills and new ideas so they can learn to once again sustain themselves. this is where I think SUUBI and the new EPOHbags project comes in.
pray for change, friends.
pray for... something...
-melissa

2009-03-06T21:23:00.000-08:00

hi friends, it's me, Melissa, because Joe doesn't update ever. He likes people to think he's mysterious or something. : )

I really don't have much to say.
Just trying really hard to not miss my mom and family so much. and trying extremely hard to not get drained or burdened by all the sad stories we hear and walls are being built on our end and I hate that. But I don't have any money -- I wish I did. I wish that I could offer the ugandan people more -- whether it would be for their own good or not.

I hear about how the american economy is crashing and how people are losing jobs and how its a big deal there and I'm sad for america I really am but it's been happening here for a long time...men ride around on bikes hoping to give people rides to town or to home or to anywhere just for a few shillings and thats their job. And I honetly think they are just thankfull for a job. maybe america needs to get creative? maybe we should all find new ways of working and being thankfull.

I'm not in america though and I haven't been for six months so I really don't know everything. maybe this is why joe doesn't update...we really dont know what were talking about.

anyways I'm going to go cut fabric for the new EPOH bags and probably scare joe with my louis armstrong impression (that always seems to lighten our hearts).
peace

2009-03-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

hello from cloudy jinja town!
rainy season is here friends!
(hallelujah)

Today Joe and I decided that we were going to visit some of the new members. We started out looking for Caroline's house. Caroline has been asking us for the past two weeks to visit her so we decided that we HAD to make time to see her. (Visiting is a very important part of the SUUBI group and Joe and I haven't had much time to visit lately so it was nice to spend some quality time with some of the members...especially the new ones.) As we were searching for her house in Walukaba (where all the homes look the same) we stumbled upon baby Melissa's home -- she was sleeping but her mom who is a hoot and a half was there. We talked with her for a bit and then we continued with our search. we wandered in people yards a bit asking whoever we saw if they new Caroline and finally we found Immaculate another new member who was more than excited to show us where Caroline lived. With a baby on her hip Immaculate laughed and giggled the entire way to Caroline's. (It made me realize how important it is to visit these women -- they enjoy spending time with us so much -- I love it!) When we reached Carline's house she was in the backyard and immediatly greeted us and took us inside. She introduced us to her brother in-law (Simon) and her 6 year old son (Innocence). And then of course I asked if I could help her make necklaces (one of my favorite things to do) she brought out two boxes full of beads and Joe and I started making and talking to Simon while Caroline dissapeared to the back. After about 5 minutes Joe looked over at me and said "she just showered for us". We laughed and thought it was so funny that she showered for us. She was clean when we greeted her...these ladies are so sweet! She then came in and asked us what soda we wanted of course we declined and she insisted which is how it goes most times. The brother in-law had left at this point and her son was leaving to go back to school (lunch break was over). I asked Caroline what she did this morning aand she said nothing.. that she usually has nothing to do. She proceeded to tell us that her husband does not allow her to do any work except for house work and that she was thankful for SUUBI because it gave her something to do for herself. That she can sell her necklaces and have her very own money to spend because her husband does not give her any. I was heartbroken to hear about her husbands "rules" but happy for her that we could give her something -- She wants to open a bank account (which is something that Amberle started for us. We are gathering information and pictures and LC letters to open FINCA account for our ladies who want them...It's a beautiful thing) but Caroline's husband will not allow her to have one -- he won't even allow her to go to English class somedays. I just want to shake this man. I never thought I would come to Africa to empower women but SUUBI has inspired Caroline to not sit back. She is going to have a FINCA account, she is coming to english, she has her own money. she's not backing down ... I am so proud of her. God is faithfull and will continue to provide for her -- He will continue to strengthen her because as much as I love this woman.. He loves her so much more HALLELUJAH!
we finished our sodas and necklaces at caroline's and then we continued to Danida to meet with Doreen and her family see if her mother had finished the prototype for the new EPOH bags. (She wasn't finished but me oh my it's looking good!) I absolutely love Doreen's sister (Sidi) she is BEAUTIFUL and so humble...she is about 12 and doesn't go to school because she has responsibilities and home (taking care of Doreen).. and her mother can't afford for all the children to go to school anyways. I am praying and thinking and wondering how I can help this family.. how we can get Doreen AND Sidi back in school without just giving them the money.

please continue to pray with us and for us and for these beautiful Acholi people.
love and peace, Melissa

2009-02-28T00:06:00.000-08:00

Hi friends,

Yesterday our dear friend and volunteer extraordinaire, Amberle, left the LGH compound. She was such a great asset to the team here and will be greatly missed!

I cleaned the entire house (minus the boys room!) yesterday and made sure everything was where it belonged and tried to make the house a bit more like a home away from home instead of just a place to crash for volunteers. I had a little encounter with 4 poles and a mosquito net in the bunk-bed room but it's all ready as well. There is also a new SUUBI/volunteer wall in the dining area where I printed out photos of the women and also of the volunteers that have been here and wrote there names and the dates they were here on them. It's super fun and I look forward to putting many more photos up! So, potential volunteers, the house is all ready for you so come come come!

Also, the new flavour of the month (sunshine) is up and ready to buy so please click on over to the suubi website and get yourself one!

We have our buying meeting with our new members today and I look forward to seeing the ladies -- usually Joe does the buying on saturdays so I have some free time to sit and chat and hold babies and roll beads. Always a good time -- especially if this lady is there:

she taught me how to weave floor mats last saturday I can only imagine what I will learn today!

tomorrow is our meeting with the old members and it will also be our first attempt at selling special paper for the flavour necklaces. It could get quite confusing and sticky but I think it will be more than worth it in the end. please pray for us!

we love and miss you all so much!

2009-02-22T07:58:00.000-08:00

If you've ever visited us here in jinja, on magwa cresent, opposite magwa primary.. the one with the blue gate -- you know of a little boy named kymbi and his mother betty. they have become a part of Joe and I's family.

They have become a constant source of joy and comfort. I dont know if LGH could do all it does with out them. That's why thursday afternoon when Betty ran into the house screaming with a stiff white eyed baby my heart fell into my toes.
Betty was hysterical. all I could understand was her yelling "AUNTIE M! AUNTIE M! KYMBI!"I looked at Kymbi -- he wasn't moving. My head and my heart were moving so fast I grabbed betty and we ran to the road screaming and yelling for a motor bike. She finally found one andI could hear betty screaming and crying all the way down the road.I have never been so scared in my life. After running around 3 hospitals looking for betty-- Jacob, Joe, and I found them at Vithi Medical Center where kymbi was laying on a bed hooked up to an IV crying. I was so happy to hear him crying...to see that he was breathing. The doctors said he almost died of severe malaria and pneumonia friday afternoon we took kymbi home from the hospital. I still can't get the sight of him in his mother's arms and betty's screaming out of my head. My heart is still in my feet. Betty and I have talked about it several times a day since it happened. It has been a constant reminder of how good God is. how constant His love is. I needed that assurance this morning when Joe got a call from our friend Andrew saying that his 13 year old sister, Agnes, died. Agnes had been suffering with HIV and TB for quite some time. I don't know her story very well -- I only met her once or twice -- but I know that she was loved by many people here. please keep her family in your prayers -- especially her brother, andrew, who stayed with her at the hospital every day and cared for her so much. It's been a hard weekend, friends. God IS faithful though, He truly is.

2009-02-18T22:28:00.000-08:00

some photos from our honeymoon in zanzibar...

2009-02-16T02:06:00.000-08:00

Hi friends, This past week has been a bit stretching to say the least. So many messes to clean up, broken down vehicles, flat tires, school fees to be paid, sickness, and miscommunication. But I’ve made it through – I’m not quite all together still – but I made it. I have fabric to cut, designs to sketch, and samples to make. I’m ready to be creative again. I need some kind of outlet : )

You all should keep checking the LIGHT GIVES HEAT// SUUBI websites. New and exciting things to come I’m sure. And keep your eyes open for March’s Flavour of the Month. It’s pretty!

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some sad news to report: Bunny died last month – sorry it has taken me so long to announce this. But she got caught in a terrible storm in the middle of the night which made her sick and eventually die. Betty was very optimistic in her last few hours and was sure she would make it through. But alas she is no longer with us. However we do have a new puppy. She doesn’t listen very well but Betty assures us that she will learn.

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Last weekend the SUUBI ladies threw us a wedding party. When we arrived to the Walukaba Community Center the Acholi dancers were ready to march us into the building. But as we started the march most of the women started running out dancing and hugging us and yelling. It was overwhelming but so much fun. I wore a Gomez (a traditional Ugandan outfit) my version of one at least. We ate so much food and got some very ridiculous gifts. All in all it was a beautiful night full of laughter and celebration.
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I’ve been spending a lot of time with Doreen and her family (see previous blogs for her story). I love her sisters and her nephews and her mom is just amazing – I am so impressed by how they stick together and how they can still manage to laugh and sing after everything that happened in the north. Pray for them. Pray for us – as they continue to change our lives.

pray pray pray

2009-02-09T01:46:00.000-08:00

sorry we havent posted in awhile.
things are very busy. there's always something that needs to be done. things are slowing down today though.
washed about a million necklaces this morning. (pray for market!)
getting my haircut this afternoon. decided I needed something new.

we will write more later but here some photos from the wedding/zanzibar.
(internet is slow so probably wont be able to post many.)

love and miss you all.
-melissa

2009-01-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

We are getting married this Friday!! The ceremony will be (God willing) at the ‘Source of the Nile Gardens’. This is the place that marks the site of where John Speke founded the source of the Nile River (where it begins, leading out of Lake Victoria). We are having the ceremony at around 6pm our time, so that is 10am Eastern Standard Time. Your prayers would be much appreciated leading up to this time and during it as well. Please pray that God would prepare our hearts for service to one another and thus to God. We will be thinking of you back home, as well.

After we get married, there will be a celebration dinner back at the volunteer house and then we leave that evening for Entebbe, Uganda – and the next morning, to Zanzibar in Tanzania, until Thursday evening.

Lots of pictures and stuff coming after we get back!

Amazing…!!!!!!!!

- love, joseph and melissa
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“But Christian love abides and for that very reason is Christian love. For what perishes blossoms and what blossoms perishes, but that which has being cannot be sung about – it must be believed and it must be lived.” – S. Kierkegaard

2009-01-24T00:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Melissa, Katie, Betty, and myself went to Bugembe, a small village north-east of Jinja. The drive there was beautiful – a wide open road with a village on a hill in the distance. We had gone to visit a good friend of Betty’s, Mama Baraka. We call her Mama Baraka because she is the mother of two beautiful girls, one of who’s name is Baraka. The other’s name is Rakira, and is particularly afraid of Mzungus (what many Ugandans call us ‘white’ folks here). Mama Baraka has one on the way – she hopes it’s a boy! The father of these children has left his family and has turned his phone off, his family left in a room that is about 9’x9’.
Mama Baraka’s rent is equivalent to about $8/month. Because she cannot work, she cannot afford rent this month and relies on the generosity of neighbors to help her get through these days. When she has her baby in about 2 weeks, she will be expected to pay for hospital services.
When we went to visit them at about 3:30pm, they had not yet eaten. I’m not sure if they ate after we left.
Experiencing these beautiful people, this scene, was difficult and heartbreaking. And as the sun seeped through the window of that tiny room, I realized that in a couple hours’ time I would be at an ATM machine in Jinja withdrawing the equivalent of $800.

2009-01-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

NEW FEET (death became a second birth).
Every Sunday evening around six a group of Acholi men and women in a nearby village dance. This past Sunday after the meeting a few of the women, a few of the volunteers, a million children, and me walked to Soweto. Everyone circled around while a few of us stood in a line in the middle of the circle. Barefoot, kicking up dust, and laughing -- we danced until dusk. It was more freeing than I ever thought it could be. It seems that whenever I let go of not just the bad but my wholeness as well I find some sort of newness. I think that I honestly only know a fragment of who I actually am. But when I let go I think I know a little bit more of who God intended me to be. When I laugh I think I can accept His presence a little bit more. Choosing to laugh and to be free is a daily decision.

”The saints (and artists) are those who not only accept, but rejoice in incongruity and so learn that laughter is holy. The infinite disparity between God’s love and man’s deserts is an indubitable fact; the saint embraces it for joy. The greater the incongruity, the more wonderful love and mercy of God…” - unknown

I hope everyone is doing well. I miss you all a great amount. I love you all a great amount also. I pray that you will not forget how to laugh today. -Melissa
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I sat in a small room inside of a house in Danida today and listened to a 17 year old girl named Doreen tell the story of how she became paralyzed, unable to do almost anything for herself. I will pass this story on to you:

About six years ago, Doreen and her family were fleeing the rebels in northern Uganda, in a district called Lira. While hiding from the rebels in the bush, Doreen was run over by a military vehicle owned by the Ugandan military. The soldiers took her to hospital hours away. Meanwhile, her family continued to flee the rebel forces, unsure if they would ever see their daughter or sister again. They eventually heard what had happened. Doreen stayed at the hospital for over a year and was operated on a few times over. Most of the surgery was concentrated around the joints on her arms and legs. With little money or possessions, Doreen and her family came to Jinja/Danida.

This story is many things to me. It is overwhelmingly sad and hopeful, desperate and beautiful. Doreen and her family have faith in God. They have faith in themselves and in each other. I wish you could experience the joy as we laugh together. For now, this picture will have to do: Please continue to pray for the people here and for Melissa and I. Love you! - Joseph

ps: We are getting married on January 30th!!!!!!!
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2009-01-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

On Sunday during the usual buying meeting I got word that a 7 pound, curious, little one has been named after me. I quickly made my way to Walukaba, to the small room, where I met a one day old Melissa. After welcoming her to the world I felt that I myself have been re-born. Rejoice, friends, God is faithful!

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no pictures of baby Melissa yet...but here are some keepers.

2009-01-02T07:57:00.000-08:00

January 1^st: Happy New Year, friends.
Last night was spent watching fireworks, dancing with 15 ex-street children, and laughing. A new years eve well spent for sure.

Today we went out on a boat with a few of the older children at Amani Baby Cottage. The lake was beautiful – something I really miss about my time on kisinja road last year. It’s good how seasons change.

Lately things have been hard. A lot of not knowing what to do but being expected to know…expected to do. I’ve been in a constant state of not feeling like I’m enough or even capable of doing the things I do here in Uganda. The truth is I’m not capable though. I’m praying for understanding and…healing. I want to be able to lie on the ground and yell “Hallelujah I can’t do it on my own”! pray for me, friends. I’m forever changing.

January 2^nd: Today I was asked to be a part of an executive committee meeting with the founders of SUUBI. Honestly I was dreading it and was prepared to be asked a million and one different things and I wouldn’t be able to answer or give them permission to do something. But God is faithful and showed me that these women don’t need me for something all the time – we basically discussed some issues together and I realized that we’re all on the same page – Molly kept telling me that we need to work together and be unified. After that we drank sodas and planned my wedding party. I came home and just cried in awe of them and there love for each other and the community and for Joe and I. they are beautiful.

keep praying.

- Melissa

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Christmas did not feel like Christmas. It was in the eighties and there were no TV advertisements telling me that if I wanted to get what I really wanted for Christmas, I should shop at their store and buy things I don’t need. I did not miss these advertisements one bit, but I missed my friends and family very much. I am realizing more and more how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life back in America.

On Christmas Eve, Melissa and I went to the pool at the Jinja Nile Resort - very attractive, but a strange feeling…swimming on December 24^th. On the 25^th, Melissa and I visited a few women in Danida and Walukuba, two near-by villages where many of the ‘Suubi’ women live. We were stuffed full of food, soda, and love! These women are so lovely and have such giving, gentle spirits – it is extremely humbling.

On New Year’s Eve, the whole house (all 8 of us, plus 2 friends – a married couple named Brian and Lindsay) went to 2 Friends restaurant for dinner, drinks, and fireworks. It was an awesome time and a good start to 2009.

New Year’s Day was quite eventful. Some friends and I (including Melissa) took 8 kids from Amani Baby Cottage on a boat ride from the edge of Lake Victoria to the source of the Nile River. The kids had a blast and the landscape was beautiful. I am getting quite attached to the kids at Amani.

We also went to a near-by boys’ home where 15 street kids were taken in by this wonderful woman named Sarah, who is ‘sponsored’ by a couple from Chicago. These boys seem so grateful to simply be alive and are incredibly energetic! On Monday I will go there at 10am to help teach English. Sarah said she’d help me learn Luganda and hopefully even French – we’ll see how that goes!

Missing and much love to you --Joe

2008-12-27T00:10:00.000-08:00

some new photos uploaded on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=49853&id=501552452&ref=nf

hope everyone had a merry christmas!

- joe

2008-12-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

bunny -- the newest member of the LGH family.

disturbing betty and kymbi while at "work".

Joe and Santa...words cannot express....

buying day at Santa's -- melissa and amberle at work

Dancing

the Rakalaka

merry christmas from hot hot uganda

2008-12-18T09:30:00.000-08:00

walk to danida

christine's daughter, patricia (she names all her dolls Melissa. so cute!)

christine made us good food... because she said it would be good if we all ate together.. I agree!

dust (fufu) : )

our road

our home

the view from the front porch.

we love and miss you all!

2008-12-10T05:02:00.001-08:00

Veronica named her baby after Joe. She only met him once and her first born is named Joe. He’s beautiful and I am amazed at Veronica’s strength and spirit. She will be returning to the village with her little one in a few days. I’m so excited for her.

There’s a group of children that live in Danida that I like to call my own. I don’t know how we found each other but we did. I have spent many days trying to get them used to me… this crazy mzungu with wild hair and blue eyes. They were timid but still followed me everywhere. No matter how many times I told them my name I was always Mzungu. This past weekend I went to their little corner of Danida and they all came running screaming “Auntie Melissa! Auntie Melissa!” my heart leaped. The spot between my shoulder and my neck which I believe was made for Nebido’s small head was filled my knees that bend to look in Ajaci’s face were bent – And I wondered for a minute if this is what Jesus feels when we come… when we run & scream His name. I feel like I understand His heart a bit more now.

I feel like I have waited my whole life for THIS life.To dance worry free with Acholi women, to sing with children covered in red dirt, to feel so close to creation when it rains. This is it. This is my life.

Hallelujah!Hallelujah

hallelujah

ha l le luj ah!

- Melissa

2008-12-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

The three days I have been here in Jinja, Uganda have been wrought with adventure, amazement, and emotions I didn’t know could come out of me. After a delayed 50+ hour trip from Washington DC to Entebbe (including a mostly unwanted one-night stay in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia where I danced traditional dance in a club full of content Ethiopians), I finally arrived and greeted my fiancée Melissa for the first time in over 3 months. Being with her for these three days has been incredible. Her heart for the people here reflects her love for God.
Upon arriving, Melissa told me that Julie (the current in-country director) will be leaving early (in about 2.5 weeks) as opposed to February, when she was previously going to leave. This means that Melissa and I are “in charge” now. It’s an odd feeling, but we’re ready to dive in. She has shown me around Jinja, including the ways of getting around (piki – motorcycle, boda – bicycle, and by “footing it”).
We live in a house with 4 other people – Julie, Josh, Ian, and Amberle. They’re all wonderful in their own way and I’m having a blast getting to know them. The house is beautiful. We have a “house girl” – Betty, and night guard, George. They’re quite the duo, and really amazing, beautiful Ugandans. I’m sure I will post pictures sometime soon.
Monday, Melissa, Ian, Amberle, Josh and I went to Amani Baby Cottage, an orphanage for children 5 years or under located right near Lake Victoria. After years of hearing about this child, Bobby, from Melissa (see picture below!), I finally met him! He is a child who has suffered much yet has the strength and hope to find ways to laugh and to love. I am anxiously awaiting the next time we go to Amani. We will probably go once a week or so.

Yesterday was my first day in the village of Danida. This is where many of the ‘Suubi’ ladies live (the women who make the necklaces – www.suubiafrica.org). Danida is full of dirty brick buildings, boarded up windows, and children who seem eager to hold the hands of us Mzungus. The trip there was overwhelming to say the least. One of my favorite moments there was meeting Jaja Margaret (Grandmother Margaret). She is a woman with a happy disposition and many children. I was surprised to find that she had made me a necklace. She gave it to me and I said “afoyo” (thank you in Luo). Overall, an overwhelmingly beautiful day in which I gave thanks to God for his faithfulness in bringing me here to be so blessed. There are no words and there is no way of describing the beauty of the people and of this place.

2008-12-10T04:59:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been some what of a whirlwind. People coming and going, babies being born, and slowly getting used to the idea of still having over a year here in Uganda. To say the least I’m nervous to say the most I’m so excited. But isn’t it the most to say the least?

Sunday was a bittersweet day. Seeing Morgan leave was hard – she had become such a source of encouragement and joy here in Uganda (Morgan, you are surely missed, sister, by everyone.) Seeing Joe arrive was such a sign of God’s faithfulness and love.Yes, Joe is finally in Uganda. After months of longing and wishing he is here. It’s been surreal showing him around this land that I love and introducing him to people I have talked about for so long. It brought me so much joy to see him experience village life for the first time yesterday. The village has been such a huge part of my being since I was a small child sitting in a pew at church listening to missionaries talk about tribes in Venezuela or untouched people in Paraguay. It meant a lot to me for Joe to be there so he can understand my heart a little bit more.

We were only in Danida for a few minutes and it started to rain. So we found shelter in the SUUBI building with Carol and JaJa Margaret and two of her children. We started making necklaces with them and then Carol told me that Veronica (a new member of SUUBI) was having labor pains. I was so excited to hear that but when we went to see her I started feeling so scared for her. This 18 year old girl was having her first baby. We all got on pikis and headed for the main hospital in Jinja. Veronica is such a strong girl – she had to walk quite a ways just to sit and wait for a nurse to see her. Joe and I waited with her awhile but realized we weren’t very much help- and probably made here even more nervous. So we gave Carol our number and told her to call us when Veronica had her little one. We got a call today saying that she had a boy. We are going to visit tomorrow and I’m sure I will upload photos sometime soon.When Joe and I are getting ready to leave Africa a little over a year from now Veronica’s child will be turning one and I will think back to yesterday and how I was so scared for Veronica. So much is going to happen in the next year. More people will come and go, babies will be born, and I will be here through it all. But for now I am just waiting and anticipating and taking it a day at a time.