All day long I think about Africa. I wake up and see my cat and immediately think "aw I'm going to miss you when I'm in Uganda". I make coffee "I can't wait to make coffee and sit outside in the morning when I'm in Uganda" I take a shower "Hot showers and pretty rare in Uganda." I put on my shoes "so excited to go barefoot or slip on flip flops in a little over a month" I walk outside "It's so cold...It's warm in Africa" My favorite is when I see an african american and my first instinct is to say "olyotia" or "kopengo".

all this to say... I AM REALLY EXCITED.
I have been learning some really good lessons lately though and thought I would share.

lesson #1: Is it just me or is Jesus extremely radical?
"A certain ruler asked him,
'Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'
'Why do you call me good?' Jesus answered.
'No one is good—except God alone.
You know the commandments:
Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal,
do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'
'All these I have kept since I was a boy,' he said.
When Jesus heard this, he said to him,
'You still lack one thing.
Sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me.'"
(Luke 18:18-22)

I can't get over the whole "then come follow me"...Sometimes I deny myself of a lot of things or give a lot of myself but forget that last part. I believe that giving all you have and following Jesus are two different things but we can't follow Jesus unless we give all we have...once this happens we are totally separated from this world and taking up the identity of Christ (broken bread and poured out wine..as oswald chambers would say) to do exceedingly MORE than what Jesus did on earth.

I know this because of this verse: (also lesson #2) "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." -- Jesus
(John 14:12-14)

We are called to do MORE (we have HUGE shoes to not only fill but to burst out of). BUT we have to take the WE out of it all. oswald chambers says (lesson #3): "most of us live on the borders of consciousness -- consciously serving, consciously devoted to God. all this is immature, it is not the real life yet. the mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. when we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured out wine, there is another stage to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God."

This is all truth, friends. We have to be willing to live out this truth..or to at least try...to at least question and make radical moves towards something other than ourselves. I pray you (myself included) are extremely uncomfortable until you actually DO something.

much love, melissa

ps: www.tukula.org is up...It's not quite official yet but were working on it.

this weekend Joe and I watched a documentary about the Lost boys of Sudan called "God Grew Tired of Us" and at the end one of the boys was leaving America and Going back to his friends and family in Africa, and he said, "This is the BEST - I am going to Africa!"
I haven't been able to get it out of my head. When I feel a little bit stressed about finances or plans in general - I just whisper to myself "this is the best..."
It's such a sweet reminder of how I actually feel when things are crazy around me.

We leave on March 8th!
Excited doesn't even begin to describe how I feel!
We still need to raise $1,300 in consistent monthly support for 2010. Please let me know if you want to donate towards Tukula! e-mail: melissasuecarter@gmail.com

Also, we are on twitter now! So weird, but somewhat fun! www.twitter.com/tukulawegrow
Thank you for reading this blog thing! Our official website will be up before March, hopefully. : )

"Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given." - Mother Teresa

Joe and I are constantly on edge when it come to Tukula funds - to say the least they are non-existent. I don't know what we could do different. we are really trying to cut down on everything now that we know we are leaving. We are getting rid of cable this month. something we really don't need especially when we went a whole year without a tv. I would definitely encourage you to get rid of your cable if you have it. It's extremely relieving and makes you more productive. We are currently trying our best to not buy as many groceries as we once were. just because it's there and it looks good does not mean we need it. last night I started a rule in our apartment (mostly with myself) that I can only have one thing on at a time. for example: if the computer is plugged in no light can be on. weird I know but this helps me to be more aware of the electricity I am using. I do feel pretty silly sometimes sitting in the dark.

I often think that if people could see our bank accounts they would laugh and call us foolish for starting a business. sometimes I think we are.

but then God reminds me that I need faith as tiny as a mustard seed and He can move mountains. Honestly, I never asked for Tukula. I never wanted to move back to Uganda. That wasn't what I wanted. of course I always knew I would go back and visit but to do business and live in uganda again? no way not in the picture..tried it and it didnt work out God brought us back here. I remember when Tukula first came to my mind I asked God to immediately take it away. "seriously. God? Did you not see us when we were DROWNING while working in Uganda?" I didn't want it, but then all of a sudden I remembered my dear friends agatha and haman and so many other young people who have SO MUCH potential but not outlet. God wants to use us to do this. It had to be him..HAD TO. because no piece of me or Joe wanted to go back and do this. But here we are so completely and helplessly longing for this to work out. to be the change we want to see in uganda.

so we're asking God for love, kindess, understanding, and peace. We believe along with mother teresa that the rest will come.

Let's seek first His kingdom, friends, even if it looks foolish and crazy.
the rest will come - money will fall from the sky just as He has planned it before I even thought it.

Be encouraged.


(ps: we have a TON more necklaces/bags and random things from africa that we still have and are selling if you are at all interested please let me know melissasuecarter@gmail.com)

hi friends! just thought I would give everyone an update on us and tukula.

We had a very wonderful and white christmas. Played about a million games of yahtzee, had many delicious meals, and went ice skating. After a much needed break Joe and I are back to working really hard to get tukula up and going. the website will hopefully up in a week or so. we are trying to finalize some decisions and answer questions for our selfless grant writer, Gray Ladd, Wouldn't know what to do with out him and his wife such blessings. We are in the process of finalizing our budget asumption for the year 2010. We are trying to get some more concrete monthly donors. We have come up with a way to make it a little easier. It's called the $10 for '10 campaign. If you are interested we are looking for people to donate $10 a month for the year 2010. that's a total of $120 for the entire year. that's not a lot but if everyone I know donated that much it would help joe and I return to uganda and make this vision a reality. so if you're interested please let me know melissasuecarter@gmail.com (if you want to give more that's ok too ) : )
I had a man ask me for 75 cents today on my walk to queen street...it felt so weird being the one asked for money as I am the one doing it all the time. I feel like a broken record sometimes. Sorry for that : )

I read this today and thought it was such a simple truth.

"Grace means that in the middle of our struggle the referee blows the whistle and announces the end of the game. We are declared the winners and sent to the showers. It's over for all huffing, puffing piety to earn God's favor, it's finished for all sweat-soaked straining to secure self worth; it's the end of all competitive scrambling to get ahead of others in the game. Grace means that God is on our side and thus we are victors regardless of how well we played the game. We might as well head for the showers and the champagne celebration." - Donald McCullough

It's a nice reminder that we don't have to earn grace or even God's favor - it's just there. we can relax - we can stop taking ourselves so seriously.

That's my hope for the year 2010 - stop taking myself so seriously. It's ok to fail - God won't love me any less. I want to practice forgiveness and I want to love without measuring... I just want to give it intensely and immensely.

2010 is going to be such a fruitful year..I just know it.
now, let's go do.
peace

ps: one of the best things that happened in 2009 was that Joe and and I got married in uganda! woo hoo!

Dear friends and family,
Our minds change a lot, our plans change even more and if I had a quarter for every time we came up with an idea and didn't follow through we would be rich. We are young and ever growing. But something that has stuck with us has always been the NEED we have seen through-out the world, particularly in Uganda. I recently read an analysis report that discussed how in Uganda the problem isn't that people are un-trained or un-willing to work it's that there are no good jobs. So this endless circle of poverty doesn't stop. We have met numerous Ugandans who have several children and no way to care for them or even themselves. We have been awakened by knocking on our door by people asking for ANY work at all. I have had Godly women lie to me just to be able to send their children to school (which costs about $300.00 a YEAR <--- less than the average amount of money spent on some american's MONTHLY grocery bill). It's not fair. It's not fair that my husband and I can spend $25.00 on ordering pizza for dinner ONE night and that is the AVERAGE MONTHLY INCOME of a Ugandan. It's not fair that contestants on the Reality TV show Survivor get ONE MILLION DOLLARS for "surviving" a month in circumstances my friends halfway across the world live in everyday of their lives. That's the REAL reality and IT'S NOT FAIR.

But it goes on.
While I sit here and type - It's all still happening.
It doesn't stop while we are sleeping or driving to work.
It doesn't stop for us when we ignore it.
So we're choosing to face it head on.
we have made an important and concrete decision to start an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation) called Tukula
(which means "we grow" in lugandan), and here's the vision:

We will be visiting trade schools and inquiring about those studying to be tailors. After we choose students who we deem to live in the most vulnerable conditions we will be hiring them to start work on a clothing line made out of Ugandan fabrics and materials (think shorts, dresses, skirts in some of the funnest bright prints)!
We will then be selling the clothing line in America at affordable costs.
We believe that Economic Empowerment for young adults is an important way to stop the cycle of poverty before they have children who end up in the cycle with them. We believe that the next generation of Ugandans with the right education and resources can become role models and make a lasting difference in their communities. We want to not only meet their immediate needs but also allow them to follow their dreams.

Tukula's hopes are to require each tailor to open a bank account and help every tailor understand the importance of saving for their future or for a specific goal. They will be given a monthly salary, a percentage of which will go straight into their bank account in order to encourage them to save each month.

We will help set financial goals for each tailor (making the goal appropriate for their living situation and future career goals). Once those goals are met they will be set off "on their own" and no longer be in the Tukula program, which then leaves a new opening at Tukula and we will start the process all over with a new member. We will follow up with all former Tukula tailors to ensure the effectiveness of the program in the long run.

We would also like to hire a graduate of business studies from Uganda to help run operations and to help with cultural barriers (language, customs, fair prices, etc.). This will help there to be a smooth work environment and minimal frustrations throughout Tukula.

Other ways we hope to help the tailors is to purchase a kilo of rice and beans each week, and each month send them home with a chicken.

We will be taking care of all the medical needs of our tailors(if any). We have seen the horrors of Ugandan hospitals and find it of great importance to make sure the people we serve get propper medical treatment no matter what the cost.

At Tukula we even have hopes to go beyond the business and see that we make an impact not only on the Tailors' lives but also in the lives of people in the communities surrounding us. We would like to be able to help street children and children living in poor areas of Uganda by making connections with children's homes, street missions, and village outreaches and donating clothes made by our tailors. Every month, we hope to work with a different group to make this project possible.

Of course, all of this is going to require start up costs.

I have currently set up a budget that I believe to be the monthly costs for the first year.
Everything will start at around $3,200 a month. This includes: salaries, product materials, clothing children project, sewing machines (maintanence), nutrtion program, medical needs, compound (workshop) rent.

For this vision to become reality, Tukula needs people to invest their money, resources, and talents:

If you choose to be a member of Tukula financially you will be the first to receive all Tukula products for free. You will receive monthly financial updates and also video updates from the tailors. We are also interested in one time donations and you will receive financial updates and video updates as well. Our goal is to have products available by the end of 2010 so we can eventually sustain ourselves.

Your donation will not be a forever committment but you will get to choose to donate monthly for a year and after a year you can evaluate our financial situation and see if it is still needed. For example: once products are sold and bought the amount of monthly donations needed will decrease.

If you aren't financially able to donate monthly there are other options:
1.) PRAY PRAY PRAY
2.) SPREAD THE WORD about tukula.
3.) USE YOUR SKILLS - we are interested in meeting with people who have backgrounds in grant writing, fashion design, Business, retail, public relations, etc.
4.) If you are a musician, photographer, or videographer, and want to help - we want to talk with YOU.

Please let us know of any ideas you have for Tukula or just anything at all. We're open to a lot of things.

If this is something you are interested in please contact me at melissasuecarter@gmail.com with "TUKULA" in the subject line.

We are so glad that our lives are finally going into a direction that is what we've always hoped they would go in. God has been gracious towards us and has allowed us to live out our dreams. We can't believe that God would entrust so much into our hands. We are thankful for you and your encouragement and support.
May you be so incredibly blessed for all you do.
With much love, grace and peace,

Joe and Melissa Terranova

Jesus called me out of bed tonight to read this:

"In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work. Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful"

- 2 Timothy 2: 20-24

come tortoise EMPTY HANDS go hummingbird my plans

I write this note to you all with great peace but also with very little understanding.

Joe and I will be leaving Uganda on August 10th.
that's about 6 weeks from now.
yes
6 months left here turned into 6 weeks.

I really don't want to share the details of why were leaving...because truthfully I don't know all the details myself. Joe and I don't really know where we are going or what we will be doing or how we will feel after leaving this place but we're jumping into it with both feet and with our arms flailing. Attempting to grab any and everything we can.
God is faithful...always always.

This will probably be my last blog as I don't think I can bare to write about all our last moments here.. about all our goodbye and tears.
So here's to you Uganda...to your open arms, your people, to your beauty and dancing.

to Betty -- my love for you will remain warm and caring. I will miss hearing you laugh and scream. thank you for being Joe and I's family -- for calling me sister. I believe in you in your honesty and in your heart. Be a good steward of what God bestows on you. And continue to be a shining light to those you meet. MAY GOD BLESS YOU, friend.

to kymbi, grow in truth and be joyful, little one. If ever you feel as though you have no one in the world to go to remember uncle Joe and I are praying for you and love you so much. Please obey your mother even if you think she is crazy. : )

to the women of SUUBI -- I write this with tears in my eyes...you are my heart strings. I asked God to show me truth...and He showed me YOUR truth...who you women are...you are just like me. I hope that someday this truth will allow me to love you better. I will never forget YOUR love for me. I will never forget the pounding of your feet on the dusty earth or the sound of you calling my name. take care of each other and be kind.

to the EPOH tailors -- thank you for your joy and hard work. Thank you for allowing Joe and I to be a part of your lives -- we will forever be grateful and blessed because of that. My heart rejoices with your new opportunity and I will pray that the goals you have set for yourselves will be reached. (oh what a beautiful day when Charles gets a car, when Agnes is teaching children how to sew, and when Alice can bless students with a college hostile!) I hope that someday you will understand our leaving early and also our longing to be with you.

we love you all
amarimatek
nkwagalanyo

keep us in your prayers as we will be doing to same.
afoyo afoyo afoyo
-Auntie M.
(Mugole)