Hi friends!

A lot has happened since I last updated so I will make a list (it's what we're good at these days):

-Got a three month lease on a house - It's beautiful and the biggest house we looked at but the only one that would give us the price we wanted. It also has a fabulous view of lake victoria - what an Awesome God we serve!


(our house)




(just a hop and a skip from our house)

-I got really sick for 4 full days nothing but starring at the four walls in our bedroom or rolling into the pink/peach tile bathroom. I am feeling much better now - lost tons of weight and l look rather sickly and everyone keeps saying I dont look so good but me oh my I am rejoicing inside!

-we visited a tailoring school. a couple blocks from central market there is this little hole in the wall place with about 4 young girls outside sewing like their lives depend on it - they are so determined and not even the busyness of jinja streets distract them I walked passed there several times and have always been so intrigued - finally Joe nudged me in and we (mostly Joe) asked the teacher (grace) several questions about the school and the students etc. It was very interested and I enjoyed the vibe of the place a lot (but of course not even having what people inside your school should distract you from your work so the girls kept sewing!) Needless to say I have been thinking a lot about our visit there and am thinking about partnering with them to get the summer collection up (which should help with the students schools fees/teachers salaries) and I can continue to take my time in finding the right candidates for the tukula tailor positions - all at the same time hopefully gaining some capital. It's kind of a win/win. - We'll see! : )

-I received some prototypes and they are beautiful I'm super excited to go to kampala and search through the huge fabric arcade and pick out the summer patterns!! I'm pretty pumped about everything. If anyone knows any wholesalers or small boutique owners please send them our way! believe me! it will be worth it!

-Joe bought a motorbike for $750 just today (we thought for sure we would have to pay atleast $1,000 - again we serve an AWESOME God.) We are so excited to finally have dependable and consistent transportation. Where we live in bukaya it is aazing and quiet and full of really sweet people and I just like the atmosphere there but the only down side...It's about 10-15 minute drive to town...this wouldnt be a problem in america at all but here it is ROUGH. To get transport we had to walk to the main road. at night you cant find any transport unless you walk far and if you choose to walk there's no street lights and it's dark and possibly unsafe. If it rains you arent leaving the house basically now we atleast have the option and in case of emergencies its awesome. plus its just more economically sound for tukula - if we partner with the tailoring school we will be going to town a lot. again a win/win...EXCEPT we took out of savings to buy this one because we didn't think we should take from tukula's money right now before we start production....we're praying for some donations or at least some sort of sweet miracle.

Hopefully I will have more pictures soon!
thanks for the constant support and love. We feel it! : )
-m

“Let’s forgive everyone, everywhere, everything, all the time…” – mewithoutYou

I write this note to you all not to preach to you but to ask that you would hold me accountable to not only what I say but to what Jesus says as well.

I have only been here a few days and in those few days I have heard from others and myself lots of criticizing and putting down of others. The white community here is something I really can’t figure out. We tear down others work because we “know what’s best” for this country. We are constantly talking about “empowering” Ugandans but strip all power away from those who are trying to do the same thing. We roll our eyes because someone is treating someone else with such disrespect. We run around showing friends our enemies planks in their eyes while ours just keep getting bigger.
By saying these things and by thinking these thoughts – I believe we are denying our “enemies” of a gift that we freely received and should be freely given. FORGIVENESS and LOVE.

Last night I cried all over my dear husband because I felt so guilty for the false image I and others were portraying of God. We refused to show love to our enemies but get glorified for loving the least of these. Jesus did not die on the cross JUST to save the least of these. We have become “celebrities” for taking the road less travelled and think that gives us the right to not grow or learn or to treat others with respect.

I no longer want to deny others of LIFE, LOVE, and FORGIVENESS through my words and my thoughts. I kindly ask that everyone will extend large amounts of grace to me as I know it takes the place of all I owe and for that I am EXTREMELY grateful.

"He has told you what is good - and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly with you God" Micah 6:8

I wonder if we really believe in what Jesus said sometimes…
here’s to reaping what we sow…

friends,
After a LONG layover and a delayed flight and a dead battery in kampala rush hour we are here. I am writing this to you from Bukaya where we are with our good friend and searching for a home.

Every day so far has been pretty surreal and my heart is so full. Things in jinja are changing so rapidly and people are happy and can I tell you that we have not had to argue with ANY piki driver (motorbike taxi) in the past few days (WEIRD). : )

I don't know if it is because we are back with new eyes or if we are just too new but things are so different.

Since most people don't have email or money to call us they didn't know we were coming back - So, in the past two full days this has been our friends (and people we didnt even get to know so well) reactions: screaming, jumping, picking us up, more screaming and lots of hugging and even some crying. It has been too good for my heart. Joe and I left last year kind of out of the blue - I believe most people were confused and some a bit hurt so returning was something they never believed we would do - after all, about 85% of mzungus who enter Uganda say "I will come back" and never return. I had been regretting how we left these past six months - I didnt know why we had to do it so quickly and I knew that I was burning bridges and possibly not fostering relationships that were really good to me. but when we visited with our friends and family my heart felt such peace and I finally was able to let go of that regret. Agnes (the second tailor we hired for epoh) looked at us and said "you have REALLY loved us, with the true love of Jesus! thank you for coming back", Josephine the 4th tailor we hired said in her very broken english "I am feeling joy" Haman kept saying "oh, Jesus, I can't believe it, oh ,Jesus, I cannot believe it!" Innocence cried when she saw us...so did Charles - He hugged Joe for so long...even the little old onion man at market greeted us so warmly and remembered us and hugged Joe.

and Betty ... imagine this: coming home from school and seeing people you havent seen in a long time who are practically your family coming towards you...yep, she thought she was seeing a ghost. LOTS of screaming and jumping and hugging and hugging and mor hugging. Kymbi is so big and he is even talking so much.

Abdallah is big as well...he called us mom and dad...my heart sank.

of course, in true ugandan fashion all emotions are extreme and come hand in hand.
This is life - out in the open - sometimes things are really great and sometimes they are sad but in Uganda all emotions are seen..there is no hiding...there is no pushing it aside. Everything is so raw and in your face...it is good.

all this and we haven't even seen the suubi ladies yet.
: )


Today we will be looking at more homes and also getting to be a part of the amazima program as well as seeing the suubi ladies!

Things with tukula are interesting - we selfishly want to jump right into things so that we can start having a "normal" kind of life here but we have been realizing that we will definitely have to do more listening and a whole lot more praying. needless to say we still have a few meetings coming up with possible wholesalers and we are going to continue planning for them and of course just listen listen listen.

Joe and I are in such weird states - constantly being filled up to the brim with so much joy but also still questioning what we are doing and where God is pulling us and completely trying to trust him with everything....not gonna lie - it's so hard. And we feel inadequate or not needed a lot because everyone is expanding their organization or doing new things or talking about things I dont understand at all

again we are just going to continue to listen...and see where we end up...and seriously though it HAS only been two days.

we love and miss most of you people and are having a lot of fun and laughing A LOT. : )

now, time to go and do.
I will be joyful in God my Savior....- Habakkuk 3

-melissa

Last night Jesus woke me up and we had a conversation that went like this:
He said "stop it - you can't do this anymore."
"what can't I do anymore? All this burden and hurt can't be me - I thought it was from YOU I thought you wanted me to carry this load for YOU."
"you are mistaken - didn't I tell you that my burden is light and my yoke is easy? you put your hand to the plow but turned around to look for me - when all along I was right in front of you. I already gave everything just to be with you and you did not have to continue to look - just be with me."

Psalm 139:7-10
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me.

He's been pursuing me like crazy and I made it my goal to pursue these things (ideas) for Him. At the end of the day when my husband and family aren't here, when tukula is done, when my hopes for people and my future aren't there - He is. It's just me and Him - "Just to be with you, I've done everything. There's no price I did not pay. Just to be with you, I gave everything - Yes, I gave my life away. Just to be with you."

He wants us - ALL OF US - Not just what we do for him but He wants our every thought, our every relationship, our every deed, our families. He wants to meet us everywhere...even when we run hardcore against the wind - He IS the wind.

"but Lord, what about my happiness? You said Your burden is light but this is going to HURT."
"It IS light - even when you are carrying a heavy cross I am there to carry it with you. I told you that if you search for happiness in the world you are missing the point - you will never be able to be WITH Me if you are still looking behind."

James 4:3-5
And even when you do ask, you don't get it because your whole motive is wrong. you want only what will give you pleasure. You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with this world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again, that if your aim is to enjoy this world, you can't be a friend of God. What do you think the Scriptures mean when they say that the Holy Spirit, whom God has placed within us, jealously longs for us to be faithful?


All this is still sinking in and I have been crying out a lot and just praying and wondering and we're still leaving our apartment in 4 days and we're still leaving the country in 11 days. Somewhere during all this I think God called me to be a disciple and I said yes...and I wouldn't have it any other way.

on earth as it is in heaven...

"The poor themselves can create a poverty-free world.. all we have to do is to free them from the chains that we have put around them." -Muhammad Yunus

In the past few weeks we have been learning a lot about africa and the west and how they connect.

I read a comment by an african that said "Thanks for your help Bono, but you could help us better in getting us industry and income generation. We don't need the aid. It's killing us and enslaving us instead of helping us. $610 billion in 30 years didn't work. Why do we need more? It's time for plan B."

Now, I definitely don't think Bono should be the only one blamed because seriously who in the public eye is really giving africa a chance instead of pumping money into them? I have thought several times about the old saying if you give a man a fish vs. if you teach them how to fish...and I've thought about the whole hand up instead of hand out and have been very vocal about how I think we can better africa but I am learning more and more that we just need to LISTEN.

I think we so often forget that most african countries are young. Uganda became independent on October 9th, 1962. It is 48 years young - I think we need to let africa discover things on there own...but I think we need to encourage and inspire - giving opportunities and knowledge...just like our parents and leaders give us.

I so often think about hand outs - now I believe the intentions are good - but how does that help the family? how does that not leave them with dependency and thoughts of "the white people will take care of it". I believe we have allowed a lot of people to abandon their responsibility as a parent and as leaders. we are the outsiders coming in and LEAVING them with dependency and broken ideas. I would like to think of us as all equals..but how is that even possible when we have the ability to come and go as we please throwing around ideas and money and getting more out of it all than the people we intend to help. Oh if only we had Christ's eyes. oh if only we were more aware that people aren't puppets and toys...If only I knew that Africa isn't my playground.

Let's remember that our actions are extremely important, our intentions although good are not always right and let's continue to question charity and also lets continue to pour into people through one on one relationships - not just through pity. Let's give love not guilt money. We have spent 30 years failing africa not helping...something's got to change.

These are just my thoughts and opinions though.
I don't know what's best...I'm just going to try and listen better.

"It's not personal, it's business." - Joe Fox
"Whatever else anything is, it ought to begin by being personal. " Kathleen Kelly
(you've got mail)

I think it's weird how the corporate world has gotten so big and impersonal that we had to create a different movement called "fair trade" or "social business". Why can't all businesses see the importance of bettering the lives of not just consumers and buyers but also the betterment of whole communities of people who need an opportunity such as the "western market". Shouldn't that be what it's all about - bettering the lives of everyone around the world...around your office? To me..that equals success..not the amount of money in your bank account. But should we just be buying things from "social businesses" because they have a story behind them? Should we really just buy more crap so that we can feel good about our purchases and the people behind them? Sometimes I wonder what in the world am I trying to accomplish with Tukula? Nobody needs new clothes. I don't want to be a part of the consumer world, really. I just want to create beautiful garments (because I really love fashion) and inspire my friends on the other side of the world to create their own opportunities along with allowing them to see that they are WORTH my time and are respectable young ladies. But for all this to work I need consumer to buy the garments that my friends will tailor. It's like a circle that I don't know how to get out of. How can I help people without having to rely on the western consumer world and donors...is it possible? Joe and I were really excited when we thought about selling our clothes in Uganda as well as the US and UK. We thought - we did it...we figured out a way to do this. But in all reality we will be making the most money in Uganda but Western Tourists. At the end of the day we were back at square one. And I can't help but wonder if there is any way to do this better. Can I be a better steward of my time, resources, and ideas?

Maybe I will just end up giving in to this consumer world just for the betterment of the young women I hope to serve effectively. Maybe I just need to swallow my pride and do this for them and them alone...because after all they are my ultimate priority. But rest assured friends I am still striving to find answers and new ideas. please continue to question the standards with me and let me know what you come up with. : )
love,
melissa

All day long I think about Africa. I wake up and see my cat and immediately think "aw I'm going to miss you when I'm in Uganda". I make coffee "I can't wait to make coffee and sit outside in the morning when I'm in Uganda" I take a shower "Hot showers and pretty rare in Uganda." I put on my shoes "so excited to go barefoot or slip on flip flops in a little over a month" I walk outside "It's so cold...It's warm in Africa" My favorite is when I see an african american and my first instinct is to say "olyotia" or "kopengo".

all this to say... I AM REALLY EXCITED.
I have been learning some really good lessons lately though and thought I would share.

lesson #1: Is it just me or is Jesus extremely radical?
"A certain ruler asked him,
'Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?'
'Why do you call me good?' Jesus answered.
'No one is good—except God alone.
You know the commandments:
Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal,
do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother.'
'All these I have kept since I was a boy,' he said.
When Jesus heard this, he said to him,
'You still lack one thing.
Sell everything you have and give to the poor,
and you will have treasure in heaven.
Then come, follow me.'"
(Luke 18:18-22)

I can't get over the whole "then come follow me"...Sometimes I deny myself of a lot of things or give a lot of myself but forget that last part. I believe that giving all you have and following Jesus are two different things but we can't follow Jesus unless we give all we have...once this happens we are totally separated from this world and taking up the identity of Christ (broken bread and poured out wine..as oswald chambers would say) to do exceedingly MORE than what Jesus did on earth.

I know this because of this verse: (also lesson #2) "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing.He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." -- Jesus
(John 14:12-14)

We are called to do MORE (we have HUGE shoes to not only fill but to burst out of). BUT we have to take the WE out of it all. oswald chambers says (lesson #3): "most of us live on the borders of consciousness -- consciously serving, consciously devoted to God. all this is immature, it is not the real life yet. the mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. when we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured out wine, there is another stage to be reached, where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God."

This is all truth, friends. We have to be willing to live out this truth..or to at least try...to at least question and make radical moves towards something other than ourselves. I pray you (myself included) are extremely uncomfortable until you actually DO something.

much love, melissa

ps: www.tukula.org is up...It's not quite official yet but were working on it.