come tortoise EMPTY HANDS go hummingbird my plans

I write this note to you all with great peace but also with very little understanding.

Joe and I will be leaving Uganda on August 10th.
that's about 6 weeks from now.
yes
6 months left here turned into 6 weeks.

I really don't want to share the details of why were leaving...because truthfully I don't know all the details myself. Joe and I don't really know where we are going or what we will be doing or how we will feel after leaving this place but we're jumping into it with both feet and with our arms flailing. Attempting to grab any and everything we can.
God is faithful...always always.

This will probably be my last blog as I don't think I can bare to write about all our last moments here.. about all our goodbye and tears.
So here's to you Uganda...to your open arms, your people, to your beauty and dancing.

to Betty -- my love for you will remain warm and caring. I will miss hearing you laugh and scream. thank you for being Joe and I's family -- for calling me sister. I believe in you in your honesty and in your heart. Be a good steward of what God bestows on you. And continue to be a shining light to those you meet. MAY GOD BLESS YOU, friend.

to kymbi, grow in truth and be joyful, little one. If ever you feel as though you have no one in the world to go to remember uncle Joe and I are praying for you and love you so much. Please obey your mother even if you think she is crazy. : )

to the women of SUUBI -- I write this with tears in my eyes...you are my heart strings. I asked God to show me truth...and He showed me YOUR truth...who you women are...you are just like me. I hope that someday this truth will allow me to love you better. I will never forget YOUR love for me. I will never forget the pounding of your feet on the dusty earth or the sound of you calling my name. take care of each other and be kind.

to the EPOH tailors -- thank you for your joy and hard work. Thank you for allowing Joe and I to be a part of your lives -- we will forever be grateful and blessed because of that. My heart rejoices with your new opportunity and I will pray that the goals you have set for yourselves will be reached. (oh what a beautiful day when Charles gets a car, when Agnes is teaching children how to sew, and when Alice can bless students with a college hostile!) I hope that someday you will understand our leaving early and also our longing to be with you.

we love you all
amarimatek
nkwagalanyo

keep us in your prayers as we will be doing to same.
afoyo afoyo afoyo
-Auntie M.
(Mugole)

.Joyce.
From the northern district of Pader, Joyce has experienced great suffering and pain.
Joyce was forced to watch many of her family members die at the hand of the LRA.
She is daily reminded of the hurt up north from her husband who has post traumatic stress disorder. My heart aches for the lady but also rejoices with her when she dances. She is always ready with a hug. Joyce's family sells vegetables in Danida and works for SUUBI as a bead maker.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

.Daisy.
Mother of a baby girl named Rachel, Daisy is constantly in good spirits.
She recently moved to Danida from the north western district of Nebbi.
Daisy cares for a niece who's parents died in the Congo.
Daisy Makes paper beaded necklaces and also sells firewood.
She is young and kind and has a heart of gold.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

.Leonida.
More affectionately called "Obama"
due to her great speaking and leadership skills.
Mother of 9 who comes from a north western district called Nebbi.
she now lives in a cement hut in a village called Soweto
a few minutes outside of Jinja.
Leonida loves to learn English and
has a passion for making paper-beaded necklaces.
She is ever smiling and willing to help.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what beautiful God You must be.


.Hellen.
An extremely talented lady from Danida.
She makes a consistent income by working with SUUBI but
also spends a lot of time making small dresses in Central Market.
Hellen has the most gorgeous ebony skin and
because of her shy and sweet demeanor
she will make you feel like you have to whisper.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

.Kwaagala, Margret.
At the ripe age of 71
Margret is the oldest member of SUUBI.
Her kind and welcoming arms make me believe
that the meaning of her last name (Love) was destined for her.
Since she birthed no children and her husband passed away,
Margret lives alone in Walukuba.
She is offered much help from her nephews and nieces
and is grateful for company.

what a beautiful God there must be.
what a beautiful God You must be.

I have had a bad attitude lately. I like to blame it on Africa not being romantic anymore or all the hardships I've been facing. But honestly it's because I haven't been searching for anything. I have been hopelessly floating around talking about love and truth and what I think that looks like. I have been turning up my nose towards people thinking I am better or more "cultured". I have been yelling at and pleading with people to just notice me.
I am Peter drowning in the water.
I have also been in a really great mood. I like to blame that on a little boy named Kymbi who I have spent many hours holding, hugging, and laughing with. But honestly it's because of my husband who I have neglected but have realized makes me the happiest girl in the world. I have spent five minutes out of my day helping a little girl mop her home and giggled with her the entire time. I have had grasshopper parties with Betty, Sharon, and even little Marvin. I have sat in a small stall in Amber Court with Agnes and shy Alice and I have driven through Uganda at night with the cool breeze skimming my face.
I am Peter when he remembered.
All this to say I have been up and down and up and down and up and down.
I think of people who are able to come and go in this place and if they really see anything. I see people who have been here for years but are missing everything. I sometimes think I am somewhere lost in between the two. Africa is a complicated place. There are real deal battles Joe and I face everyday that have been attributed to "It's just their culture" or "they were desperate" or "they don't know any better". I wonder if that's ok? Should we let that excuse there actions? should we give them so much grace that they don't change? do I want them to change? I think about America and how badly we all wanted "change" and that's why Obama was so appealing but since I haven't heard of anything changing and it seems like everyone is fine with that? maybe I am naive but I like to think that you can only change something or something can only change if the thing that's asked to change wants to be changed.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say or get across.

I started writing this (it's taking me about three days to finish it) with thoughts of speaking what I believe to be the truth to change your thoughts on Africa or America or myself or yourself but have talked myself out of it along the way.
I don't want to change your mind.
do something that will change your own.